My life according to me

Dear Birthday,

A chronological look back on my so called life to date…..

1st to 3rd: My first few years were filled with many challenges. Diapers were something that I was not familiar with. They seemed like a good idea at the time until I had to go to the bathroom. My mother and father I believed weren’t educated or failed to decipher my grunts and screams when it came time for me to go. I would attempt to hold it in but a diet of Gerber carrots and the green stuff would always get the better of me. I feel though that this in a way prepared me for late night trips to Tacos De later in college.

4th to 7th: With my early years behind me and having mastered the game changing art of potty training which opened life up to many new adventures. Being raised in the country I was free to roam with the dogs and other animals at the ranch. I was still trying to master this language my parent’s spoke which was referred to as “English” but at the same time I was still speaking “baby gibberish” and picking up “dog”. As I ran around the yard with the dogs I noticed that when they had to pee, they would find a tree or bush and go. I said to myself, “hey! What a great idea!” I still emulate this lesson to this day.

8th to 12th: As I moved into adolescence new things became front and center in my life. Up until this point my life revolved around 3 things: my roommates who I referred to as “mom and dad” (very traditional), my love of the outdoors and of course farming. It was around this era that sports were introduced to me. Baseball, football and the Cowboys became my passion. It was at this time that I learned what disappointment was.

13th to 18th: The one main rule in my father’s household was that if you weren’t playing sports you were working. Because of this my teen years were filled with many hours on the athletic field. The NFL needed a 5’9” white free safety with subpar speed, they just didn’t know it yet. The last few years of this time frame was also the time I experienced what living alone was like. You see, I was Dylan McKay before there was a 90210. Coming home to random friends at your house and waking up to people asleep on your couches prepared me for life in the AGR house later on.

19th to 25th: These were my college years spent first at Cuesta College in SLO and then on to Chico State which is more commonly known as “The Harvard of the West”. This was a very hazy time in my life. I do know at some point I joined a fraternity, played rugby, had the first black dog come into my life and graduated with a degree in Ag. Business.

26th to late 20’s: Work became the dominate force in my life. I still waited by the phone though everyday eagerly awaiting that call from the NFL. I purchased my first home along with my second later on. I also got engaged at this time. Yes peeps, I was almost transformed to a life of children, minivans and golf at an early age. Luckily I escaped that trap unscathed and have become what people like to refer to as a “unicorn” today.

30’s to 40’s: At this time I made my return to the mecca that is Chico. Bars rejoiced and my liver quivered at the thought of re-releasing me back into the wild that is Chico’s Downtown armed with a much higher income level then I possessed in college. No more White Wolf or Canadian Mist for this guy!

Late 40’s to present: Life is good. Rice, hunting, travel, great friends, fun and Tres Hombres dictate my life. The black dog with a love of pudding pops and ugly sweaters first came into my world along with the paparazzi that has accompanied his rise to fame. I discovered that I could write again and that I’m good at it in a confident not cocky way. I became a home owner again, and the color of the trim is amazing. The people in my life make me smile constantly. I’m am still that unicorn.

It has been an amazing run thus far, and throughout this journey I have learned to be positive towards it all. I’m a big believer in “everything happens for a reason”, God made it that way so life wouldn’t be boring and predictable. Remember to keep the good ones in it that you come across (you will know who they are), don’t overthink things and continue to take breaths away. Thank you all for being a part of this and can’t wait to see where the next adventure takes me! Cheers! I am still a unicorn….

PS. Happy start of the work week peeps, hope the weekend was amazing and remember…..Dinner is best served in a glass, with ice, some vodka and a slice of lemon.

#mylife #empireliving

Islam vs. All of us

Dear Charlie Hebdo Newspaper killers, “extremists” and Islam,

Islam is a religion of hate…..There, I said it. Call me a racist, bigot, redneck, white trash, etc. Every time an act of terror occurs involving followers of the Islamic religion we are quick to label them as “extremists” and that the actions of a few are not the opinion or views of the religion as a whole. The media parades out numerous “leaders” of the Islam faith who preach that it is a religion of love and understanding, not of hate and violence. Let’s go to the scoreboard concerning this…..The current example of Islam not being a hateful religion involves the senseless murders of 12 people at a French newspaper because they had the audacity to print a series of satirical cartoons depicting Muhammad and Islam. As this slaughter of innocent lives took place the shouts of “Allah Akbar!” and “We avenged the prophet Muhammad!” can be heard in surveillance videos and confirmed by witness to this act of terror. This along with the beheading of kidnapped westerners, suicide bombings, killing of innocent people, deplorable treatment of women and its overall demeanor when it comes to the rest of the world all screams to me a religion not based on hate and violence. Continuing to refer to this as acts of “extremists” has worn thin with the majority of our planet. Now I’m not a scholar when it comes to religion but I’ve never heard anyone utter the term “extreme Catholic” or “extreme Sikh” or “extreme Mormon” at any point in my life. You know why? Because these examples of organized religion and others like them do not consider a bombed strapped your body as proper casual Friday attire or that it’s appropriate to turn journalists into human pez dispensers because they have a belief other than your own. The world is tired of excuses that are made by yourself and the media. If you aren’t a religion based on hate then your leaders need to step up and denounce these heinous crimes against innocent people and seek out and make an example of the quote “extremists”. Continuing to do nothing only reaffirms the growing opinion and thoughts that the general public has towards Islam. When an event happens once it can be chalked up as a “random act”. When this same event occurs numerous times it becomes a pattern. Muslims, the ball is in your court once again. With each passing moment you lose the rest of us in your attempt save face over each act of terror and hate you bring against people with beliefs other than your own. It’s only a matter of time before the rest of the 5.4 billion of us on the planet start thinking like the few. The clock is ticking…..

PS. Happy Thursday peeps on this gorgeous Thursday in January. Please forgive me for my absence, but the holidays, my recent move and a case of writer’s block have kept me from keeping you entertained and thinking. Big things ahead and promise to step up my game and remember….Brunch without booze is just a sad late breakfast.

#Charliehebdo #France #terror #Islam #empireliving

Ignorance is color blind

Dear Ferguson rioters,

Let’s go to the score card from last night’s activities:

·         12 plus businesses badly damaged or destroyed.

·         3 police cars burned to the ground.

·         61 arrests.

·         Thousands of dollars of merchandise looted and dreams destroyed.  

This is what mayhem, bedlam and the destruction of your home accomplish:

·         One black male is still dead.

Congratulations, you just set civil rights along with humanity as a whole back 100 years! Who is to blame for all of this? The answer is actually quite simple. In a society where 90% of violent crimes against blacks are committed by blacks themselves, yet there are no protests, calls for justice or major media coverage concerning this issue. You know why? It is the same reason that you don’t hear about white on white violent crimes which happen at right around the same clip. It’s because the “race baiters” in society have nothing to gain from it. Where is Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, etc. when the above mentioned crimes are being perpetrated? Nowhere, because there are no camera present or dollars to be made. The race card is only relevant when there is something to gain. The dream that Martin Luther King had has turned into a multi-million dollar industry for the above mentioned players and others like them, and the ones who suffer are the people that they are reported to help. When this situation calms down and the TV cameras disappear, they will move on to the next “cause” and not take the time to look back at the destruction that is left behind. The problem with communities like Ferguson and others like it is that it’s too easy to blame others for the situations that it faces. I have heard over and over about the racial makeup of the city council, school board and police force and how blacks have no voice. In a town where 67% of the voting population is black, if 100% did there civic duty and voted then these publicly determined positions would be filled by the demographics that the town represents. That math works at both Chico State and Harvard. It’s not a matter of race and hatred, it’s a matter of ignorance and laziness. Use your God given right as a citizen of the United States to make a difference and vote. Race didn’t kill Michael Brown, the ignorance of attacking a police officer did. Racism didn’t cause the city council and police force of Ferguson to be white, the laziness of the voting public determined that. Race did not cause the violence seen in this same city last night, the race baiting of the lazy and the ignorant did and the community is ultimately the one who suffers. Ignorance and laziness sees no color, unless it’s told too….Merica.

PS. Happy Tuesday peeps on this holiday week, may you have a drink in your hand as it comes to an early close and remember…..You’re either at the table or on the menu.

#Ferguson #riots #michaelbrown #empireliving 

Your 2014 Pop Music Awards...Wait, that was country???

Dear 2014 CMA Awards,

Good morning and welcome to what I believe is my 3^rd or 4^th annual CMA Awards review. As I have looked back over the previous material that I have written about the state of Nashville country music, it seems that it has moved further away from what we would describe as “country”, and has drifted closer to what the definition of “pop” music is. After claiming last year would be my last review and against my better judgment and the well-being of my TV, I grabbed a drink and positioned myself on the couch for 3 hours to bring you the latest installment of the CMA Awards:

1.       Jimmy Buffet is the opening act of the night. Hippies dancing around, a rainbow painted school bus and a light show that had me contemplating dropping acid. What’s not country about that? Wait…What???...That was Kenny Chesney???...Makes perfect sense.

2.       Next act on stage is the dude from Rascal Flatt’s sporting a dress and extensions and singing the current pop anthem “All about that bass”. Two performances down and 20 minutes into the show and have yet to hear a tune concerning momma, trains, trucks or getting drunk.

3.       Brad Paisley, I have run out of hat jokes. You win.

4.       It’s nice to see Julia Roberts on stage with Brad and Carrie to announce the first award of the night. I’ve been wondering what she’s been up too.

5.       Florida/Georgia Line make their first appearance prompting me to reach for the remote for the first time. Due to the reviews of the past, my TV is currently fearless of this threat.

6.       Do you think Jason Aldean has already cheated on the new wife that he cheated on the last wife with? The fame that comes with starring in Benny Brown Ford commercials is sometimes too much to bear on a relationship.

7.       Another year of Jon Bon Jovi on stage and still no Bad Medicine. Go with what got you there, no one wants to hear this new country sound of yours. What???...That’s Keith Urban???

8.       Do you think Jesus finally hates Tim Tebow for appearing on stage with Hootie?

9.       Kacey Musgrave, the crackers are still on the nightstand and don’t even think about taking that bump-it off.

10.   The coal miner’s daughter still has a little left in those pipes.

11.   The jury is still out on whether Jason Aldean is currently on stage or if that is indeed Reno Rosser.  

12.   Only Nashville could ruin something as perfect as day drinking.

13.   What is an Ariana Grande?

14.   A little over an hour into the show and just hit the info button on the remote to make sure that this indeed was the country music awards.

15.   Florida and Georgia, having a hot sister still will not get me to like you.

16.   What is a Cole Swindell?

17.   Dierks, you get a pass on the jeans and bracelet. I’m a big fan.

18.   Guitar solos and shaking your hands around as if you’ve just suffered a seizure is the latest item to be added to the Nashville starter kit.

19.   Another year passes and still no hate for Blake Shelton.

20.   For the record, although we did share crackers, I am not Carrie Underwood’s baby’s daddy.

21.   Looks like Luke Bryan took advantage of the all things black end of summer sale at the Baby Gap.

22.   Fell asleep for 20 minute to be awoken to what appears to be the season finale of “Celebrity Biggest Loser”. I am very proud of you Vince Gill.

23.   Eric Church has come full circle. Welcome back to real country, I knew you could do it.

24.   For some reason the next act sounds and looks like the Doobie Brothers.

25.   Show is almost over and still no Taylor Swift sighting. That’s something to smile about.

26.   My night has perked up, Chris Gaines has just taken the stage.

27.   Luke Bryan “Entertainer of the Year” Let that sink in…

3 hours of my life that I’ll never get back, a mild buzz and the final nail into the Nashville country music coffin. This is one thing that can’t be pinned on Bush or Obama…..

Happy Thursday peeps on once again an amazing November day in God’s Country. The weekend is fast approaching so enjoy yourself and remember….There’s no time for bullshit when you’re building an empire.

#2014CMAs #nashville #skinnyjeans #leatherbracelets #empireliving

Republicans: Stick to your roots and change the game

Dear Republicans,

Woooo Hooo! You did it!...After years of the voting majority of the country believing that “Change” was what was right for the United States, the American people realized that true “Change” is what is needed to fix a broken system not only in Washington DC but across the landscape of this great nation. Now don’t screw it up!...I know you are all as ecstatic and giddy as a sorority girl on free Uggs giveaway night at the local Starbucks in the fall but that doesn’t mean you lose sight of the big picture and what got you elected to office. You all know what I’m talking about. Don’t be that youngest child who finally has the freedom to run the family business after years of being told what to do. The one who is drunk on power and will stop at nothing to leave their own lasting impressing on the company no matter how much it negatively effects the rest. This is what happened to the last administration and its followers, which has lead us to the disaster that we must right as a country today. Another piece of sage advice I would like to share with you is that the media and members of the Republican Party need to stop referring to any candidate who is a fresh face and has new ideas as the next “Ronald Reagan”. There is no bigger supporter of the 40^th President of the United States then the beer drinking, gun toting, freedom loving rice farmer who is writing this piece you are currently reading, but there will never be a “next” Ronald Reagan just like we will never see someone crush a fastball like Babe Ruth or hang in the air as long as Michael Jordan. They were all once in a generation game changers. Let’s focus on being the “first” and incorporate the ideologies of the great ones from the past like the immortal President Reagan into your agenda of fixing what is wrong with this country. Be the trendsetter that people are debating about being the “next” years down the road. Finally and most importantly, stay true to who you are and the people of the United States. Do not let Washington, politics and money detour you on your quest to fix what is wrong. Stick to the agenda at hand and make myself and the rest of the people who check “Republican” at the ballot box smile and not have us shaking our heads a few years from now. God Bless and most importantly…Merica!

PS. Happy Hump Day peeps on this gorgeous November day. Let’s make liberalism an endangered species and remember….Don’t ever trust someone who bites their ice cream without flinching. That just isn’t natural.

#election2014 #vote #republicans #empireliving 

Democracy works better when you vote

Dear United States citizens,

Countries go to wars over it. Empires fall because of it. People risk their lives in order to partake in it. It’s the basis of what a democracy stands for. If you answered “alcohol” after each I’m not going to argue with you, but what I’m looking for on this first Tuesday in November is your ability as a citizen of the greatest country in the world to vote. Yes, you have the power to change things. I know this may sound cliché, but it is true. Voting is what makes this country what it is. It offers everyone a chance to make a difference whether they are running for office themselves or electing someone that shares in their views and opinions on what their local, state or federal government should stand for. It has shaped this country since a bunch of wig wearing, feather scribbling bad asses thumbed their noses to a monarchy on the other side of the pond and continues to this day…Merica! Without the ability to vote, musicians would not be senators, actors could not become governors and idiot’s our president. People who fail to vote are constantly blaming the system as unfair and corrupt. They feel that one person never makes a difference and the constant barrage of all things political leading up to an election turns them off on the process as a whole. If you ask me, dealing with a mailbox constantly stuffed with trash, political ads that make local commercials tolerable and the abundance of signs that simply appear over the course of a night on every corner, fence or field within a 100 mile radius of a candidate’s district or referendum far outweighs the option of referring to someone as “your majesty” or the strong possibility of losing an appendage for your political views. As a person with future political aspirations and enough skeletons in the closet to fulfill these dreams, take the time today to make your way to your local polling facility and cast your vote. It doesn’t matter if you are Republican or Democrat, conservative or liberal, what you do today makes a difference in the future of this country you call home, plus they give you a sticker to show off to all your friends. I’m Marcus Monroe and I approve this ad…

PS. Happy Election Tuesday peeps, make a difference and remember….If it doesn’t include meat, it’s a snack. Merica.  

#vote #rockthevote #electiontuesday #empireliving

Farmers and Ranchers: Our own worst enemy

Dear leaders of the farming and ranching community along with “Agvocates”,

Monday was a good day. Rice harvest finished up and I decided to fulfill my civic duty as a pillar of the agriculture community and took part in a discussion at Chico State titled “The Future of the Farm”. The topic to be debated was “Can meat and dairy be produced “sustainably” to feed the planet?” If you’re asking yourself, “He went to a discussion most likely filled with Obama votes, Birkenstocks, a lack of general hygiene and folks who have never seen a farm other than Michael Pollan’s utopia of what the food system should look like?!?” Yes, I did, but being this is the first one of these I have attend in some time I made sure I had the natural Xanax of two beers and a shot in me to refrain from any Tourette moments I am prone to when participating in something I am passionate about (Did not want to disappoint ya’ll). The two person panel chosen to debate the topic consisted of David Simon, a lawyer from Southern California who is the general council of a healthcare company and is the author of the book “Meatonomics”. These credentials obviously makes him a foremost expert on farming, ranching and production agriculture. Megan Brown, cattle rancher and world renowned agriculture and food blogger occupied the chair next to Mr. Simon. This debate played out like most when you pit two ideological views against each other. Mr. Simon started the discussion in textbook fashion with pictures of animal cruelty at “factory farms” and facts taking out of content and blaming subsidies and “corporate farms” with what is wrong with agriculture before comparing the chicken and beef industry to the tobacco industry and then ending with all meats should be taxed as if it was a pack of cigarettes. Once again this guy is an expert on agriculture. Ms. Brown’s rebuttal was informative and was presented in a way that even the people who don’t agree with the consumption of meat products were able to be bipartisan towards a view not of their own. One statement Megan made that stood out among all others to me was; “We are our own worst enemy” when it came to describing the lack of communication the agriculture industry has with the public. I’ll get back to this statement in a moment. What concerned me with this discussion was not only the lack of attendance by members of the agricultural community but also by the lack of participation by the so called “leaders” of my industry. Faculty, students, local Ag organizations, etc. were presented with the opportunity to be a part of the discussion yet according to the mediator declined. If this is true, I’m not only dissatisfied by the institution that I proudly call my alma mater, it reiterates the previous mentioned fact that agriculture is its own worst enemy. As my blog has progressed and I look to ways to increase my reach to others, “experts” concerning social media have told me that I need to stick with one genera when it comes to my topics of discussion, meaning that I write about the trials and tribulation of farming. While I truly enjoy covering this topic both in print and pictures it does not help the bigger cause of getting our message out to others. The agricultural industry will never progress if it continues to preach to its own concerning topics of importance to the rest of society. Agriculture needs more people like Megan Brown who tackle issues that our out of our comfort zone and less cowboy hats and dirty boots sitting in the coffee shop solving the world’s problems one cup at a time….

PS. Happy hump day peeps and please forgive me for the harvest sabbatical. Have a great one and remember….A burrito is just a sleeping bag for some tasty meat.

#Beefjar #agvocates #Davidsimon #chicostateag #empireliving