Farmers and Ranchers: Our own worst enemy

Dear leaders of the farming and ranching community along with “Agvocates”,

Monday was a good day. Rice harvest finished up and I decided to fulfill my civic duty as a pillar of the agriculture community and took part in a discussion at Chico State titled “The Future of the Farm”. The topic to be debated was “Can meat and dairy be produced “sustainably” to feed the planet?” If you’re asking yourself, “He went to a discussion most likely filled with Obama votes, Birkenstocks, a lack of general hygiene and folks who have never seen a farm other than Michael Pollan’s utopia of what the food system should look like?!?” Yes, I did, but being this is the first one of these I have attend in some time I made sure I had the natural Xanax of two beers and a shot in me to refrain from any Tourette moments I am prone to when participating in something I am passionate about (Did not want to disappoint ya’ll). The two person panel chosen to debate the topic consisted of David Simon, a lawyer from Southern California who is the general council of a healthcare company and is the author of the book “Meatonomics”. These credentials obviously makes him a foremost expert on farming, ranching and production agriculture. Megan Brown, cattle rancher and world renowned agriculture and food blogger occupied the chair next to Mr. Simon. This debate played out like most when you pit two ideological views against each other. Mr. Simon started the discussion in textbook fashion with pictures of animal cruelty at “factory farms” and facts taking out of content and blaming subsidies and “corporate farms” with what is wrong with agriculture before comparing the chicken and beef industry to the tobacco industry and then ending with all meats should be taxed as if it was a pack of cigarettes. Once again this guy is an expert on agriculture. Ms. Brown’s rebuttal was informative and was presented in a way that even the people who don’t agree with the consumption of meat products were able to be bipartisan towards a view not of their own. One statement Megan made that stood out among all others to me was; “We are our own worst enemy” when it came to describing the lack of communication the agriculture industry has with the public. I’ll get back to this statement in a moment. What concerned me with this discussion was not only the lack of attendance by members of the agricultural community but also by the lack of participation by the so called “leaders” of my industry. Faculty, students, local Ag organizations, etc. were presented with the opportunity to be a part of the discussion yet according to the mediator declined. If this is true, I’m not only dissatisfied by the institution that I proudly call my alma mater, it reiterates the previous mentioned fact that agriculture is its own worst enemy. As my blog has progressed and I look to ways to increase my reach to others, “experts” concerning social media have told me that I need to stick with one genera when it comes to my topics of discussion, meaning that I write about the trials and tribulation of farming. While I truly enjoy covering this topic both in print and pictures it does not help the bigger cause of getting our message out to others. The agricultural industry will never progress if it continues to preach to its own concerning topics of importance to the rest of society. Agriculture needs more people like Megan Brown who tackle issues that our out of our comfort zone and less cowboy hats and dirty boots sitting in the coffee shop solving the world’s problems one cup at a time….

PS. Happy hump day peeps and please forgive me for the harvest sabbatical. Have a great one and remember….A burrito is just a sleeping bag for some tasty meat.

#Beefjar #agvocates #Davidsimon #chicostateag #empireliving

High waisted shorts: The bro tank of the female species

Dear high waisted shorts,

We have all seen it before. First the fashion world brought us the mistake known as the “bell bottom” in the 60’s and 70’s. As we rolled into the 80’s and 90’s we were subjected to peg pants and neon hues. The early 2000’s through today has blessed us with bro tanks and skinny jeans. Years after another trend hits we look back on it and wonder “who is this idiot in this picture and why is he/she dressed like such a dickhead?!” Now as we have progressed as a society you would think that what appears on the catwalk in Paris, London or New York every year would not find its way to the closets of everyday people….WRONG! At bars, concerts and college campuses across the country the latest craze is taking place. Just like its aforementioned predecessors, what started out as a fad among a few outliers has progressed into a full blown pandemic as spring turned into summer. Yes, I am talking about you high waisted shorts and the effect you are having on the natural attraction of a male to a women is mind boggling. High waisted shorts are the bro tank for the female species. You see, no one likes them yet once you see someone wearing them you must follow suit. It is a look that takes the “muffin top” to the next level. This revelation alone should make all ladies who own a pair of this fashion misstep to burn them in liberation. Now usually there is a portion of society that can pull off a look when all others fail. This portion is usually referred to as “hot chick” (which also can be referenced as “Kate Upton”) or “Tom Brady” but in this instance these analogies fail. Even with all the above stated flaws with this look for some reason hot, ugly, fat, skinny, sorority girl, country chick, girl next door, and etc. have continued to choose jeans shorts that are cut off as if they were cotton granny panties that nestle just below your chest and pair it with a t-shirt from a concert you never attended that you added a frayed sleeve look to and precede to tuck this into the previously mentioned shorts to complete an appearance that has most males and females shaking their head. Ladies, I know it’s hard to take fashion advise from a guy who’s closet consist of plaid and pearl snaps along with a Chive shirt sprinkled in from time to time but I am an expert at beautiful women and this trend is taking the “beautiful” out of that equation. When choosing your next ensemble for a night on the town, shy away from something that is common place in trailer parks and honey boo boo’s mom’s closet. With winter fast approaching and the anticipation of yoga pants, Uggs and sweatshirts that it brings, one can only hope that it also leads to the death of yet another of society’s lapses in judgment….

PS. Hello peeps on this first rainy day of the season, here’s too many more albeit this farmer hope is they wait till November to bless us and remember….Why pay the doctor to make you better when you can pay the farmer to make you healthy. Now that that’s advice you usually have to pay for.

#highwaistedshorts #fashionmistakes #empireliving 

9/11: My generation's Pearl Harbor

Dear 9/11,

Where were you…….

It started off as a typical Tuesday. Up, shower, dress and hurry out the house for an 8AM meeting that I was already late for. In the hustle of grabbing my things, while harassing one roommate and waking up the other so she wouldn't be late for work, I failed to turn on the radio per my routine as I got dressed and repeated this mistake with the TV as I was grabbing a quick bite out of the fridge. Just a little after 6AM my phone started ringing. Being that this was the beginning of fall and most of my growers that I took care of as an agronomist were busy with harvest, it was unusual to receive a call at this hour. Glancing at the screen on the best flip phone with horrible service money could buy (thank you Nextel) it was my mother. Now the only time my mother calls is for two things: To nag and to nag some more. Seeing that it was her I let it go to voice mail. Placing my phone down on the counter I went back to my morning routine only to be interrupted by a ringing phone once more. It was again my mother. This process repeated itself once more before I picked up the phone to see what was so important this early in the morning. Before I could answer with my customary greeting for her, “What do you want?” she was screaming that we were being bombed. She repeated this over and over hysterically (and those of you who know Kathy, know she has cornered the market on hysterical) before I could get in a word edge wise. Upon calming down, I asked her just what the hell she was talking about. She then informed me to turn on the TV and as I scrambled for the remote and hit the power button the scene that was being played out before my eyes could only be described as something out of a Michael Bay movie. I screamed at my roommates to get in the living room as we witnessed the 2^nd plane hit the towers. As we watched the terror unfold, news reports were sketchy with talks of other planes hitting landmarks and bombs being placed in schools, I abruptly told my mother I loved her, hung up the phone and called friends in Chico to make sure they were alright. As the day played out and the information on what had actually happened became more concrete, the emotions of disgust, hate, anger, retaliation, sadness, etc. overwhelmed me like most Americans. President Bush took to the airwaves to address the nation on the tragedy that had unfolded earlier in the day. His historic words reassured myself and the rest of the nation why the United States is the greatest country in the world:

“Terrorist attacks can shake the foundations of our biggest buildings, but they cannot touch the foundation of America. These acts shatter steel, but they cannot dent the steel of American resolve. America was targeted for attack because we're the brightest beacon for freedom and opportunity in the world. And no one will keep that light from shining.” – George W. Bush

13 years later the words of this iconic address still stands true. From Al Qaeda to the current threat from ISIS we are a country that despite our differences, stand united when it comes to one thing….America. God Bless…..

PS. I only have three words for you to remember on this day….NEVER FORGET. Merica.  

#9/11 #America #neverforget #UnitedStates #empireliving 

Dating in your late 20's and into your 30's...According to this expert

Dear dating in your late 20’s and through your 30’s,

I get approached constantly on topics to write about or discuss. Lately the subject of dating has been broached by both male and female friends. Most have either been in a long term relationship or a marriage which has recently ended. Some have kids and some don’t. The question they all ask me is how and when do they get back into the dating “game” and how exactly does it work now?  Being that I’ve somehow managed to keep myself single all these years I qualify as a one of the foremost experts on the subject and am willing to share some sage advice at no cost to you….

My life guide to dating (late 20’s and through your 30’s):

1.       If you are jumping back into the dating game after a long period of time it can be scary. Change is hard for all of us, especially when it comes to intimately interacting with someone new. The best way to deal with this is to use the “Crawl, walk, run” method. It is exactly as it sounds. You have to crawl before you either walk or run in anything you do in life and we all have our own pace on getting to the next step. Always remember to do what feels best to you.

2.       I use to believe that there was a certain “time table” when it came to dating after being in a long relationship or marriage. I’m here to tell you there ISN’T. If you meet someone whether it’s been a few days, a week or months and it feels right, then it probably is. There is no calendar to this.

3.       Take a chance! If you are interested in someone they will never know unless you take that leap of faith and put yourself out there. That person at the coffee shop, gym, grocery store, bar, etc. may just be thinking the same thing about you.

4.       It used to be easy to know when you were in a relationship with someone but for some reason as we get older this changes. At a young age it was as simple as checking “yes” or “no” on a box or asking the girl or guy to be your significant other. The key as with everything is communication. Be upfront with each other on what you want now and as you move forward. It takes the guessing and uncertainty out of the equation.  

5.       TALK to each other. I’m not talking about a text or via Facebook, pick up the phone and call them. The emotion in the human voice in a one on one conversation can never be replaced.  

6.       LISTEN to each other. I don’t know how many times I have to reinforce that point.

7.       Be HONEST. Whether you are 21 or 31 this never goes out of style.

8.       Have FUN! This is what life is all about.

9.       If you don’t find someone right away that you click with don’t worry, it will eventually happen. Never settle for anything in life, especially if it’s someone that you want to share yours with.

The best advice I can give is if you are with someone currently or looking for that special person is to never “stop dating”. When we find ourselves in a relationship we tend to get into a comfort zone and forget the things we did to catch the eye of, or impress that special someone. Never use the excuse of work, a busy life or later children to get in the way of you and your significant other. Take each other to dinner, see a movie, hold hands when he or she least expects it, send her flowers, leave a little note on their windshield and let them know what they mean to you and most of all….tell her she’s beautiful. Trust me that never gets old….

PS. Happy Hump Day peeps as we move closer to harvest and remember….The one thing about the ground is it doesn't give much.

#dating #advice #marriage #drphil #empireliving

ISIS...We are the United States, have you heard of us???

Dear ISIS (Islamic state of Iraq and Syria),

Let me present to you a simple question….Haven’t you learned from those that came before you?  History is filled with numerous terrorist organizations like yourselves who use hate, fear, murder, manipulation and propaganda in an attempt at world tyranny. In case you may have forgot, let me refresh your memory along with the results of each of their actions:

1.       Nazi Germany: FAIL.

2.       Dr. Evil: FAIL. (sharks with lasers almost was our downfall)

3.       Al Qaeda: FAIL.

4.       Insert any Islamic group here: FAIL.

You are no different than your predecessors other than the fact that you have mastered the art of social media and its power from a cave. You continue to taunt us with televised be-headings of journalists and the abduction of American’s volunteering in relief efforts in war torn regions of the middle east along with the killing of your own people, who wouldn't conform to your Islamic (there’s that word again) beliefs all in the name of Allah. With all these heinous deeds what do you think you are going to accomplish? To borrow a phrase from every celebrity or athlete who has ever been pulled over by the police….Don’t you know who we are??? It is time for a Lee Greenwood, Toby Keith, Hank Williams Jr. moment (parental discretion advised)….We are the United States of America. For 238 years we have been “thee” world super power, along with coming to the aid of our allies on every continent. We have two world war wins to our credit and have been victorious in numerous conflicts across the globe. It took us just over a month to invade and conquer the very country that you derive your name from while it was under control of the most powerful dictator of the last 30 years. What do you think you are going to accomplish with your actions other than transforming the mud huts and mountain lairs you call home to rubble? I would also like to send a special shout out to the Americans who side with ISIS’s cause of killing innocent men, women and children and denounce a country who has given it every opportunity to succeed by traveling to far off locals in an attempt to bring harm to the United States and our allies. Let us save you the cost of a plane ticket to those paradise like destinations such as Iraq and Syria and fast track you to those 72 virgins you are so looking forward to seeing. Whoooooa……..Tanks, bald eagles, hamburgers, stars and stripes and football!!! Sometimes my love for my country overtakes rational thought, but I’m a proud American and will never apologize for that. The point I’m trying to make in the most patriotic way possible is that your actions are only moving you closer to your demise which in the grand scheme of things is better for the rest of us. So keep up the good work, we are looking forward to adding you as another notch on the United States bed post….Merica.

PS. Happy last Thursday of August peeps, make it an outstanding one and remember…..If liberals hate you, you’re doing something right.

#ISIS #Iraq #Syria #beheadings #USA #empireliving 

Taming Las Vegas...Round 2

Dear Las Vegas,

Things that may or may not have happened last time I visited you:

1.       The liquor store on the way to the Bellagio was liquidated of all forms and sizes of Tito’s.

2.       You do not get upgraded to the rain man suite if you drop the name “Cosby” or “black dog”.

3.       Win $1,000 at the roulette table using the “5 step” full proof plan to winning that never fails.

4.       Lose $1,200 at the roulette table using the “5 step” full proof plan to winning that never fails.

5.       Remove all the furniture from your suite (I have no idea how we ended up with one) to the elevator and then ride that elevator up and down and ask people at every floor when the door opens; “What are you doing in my room?” This scares Asian people quite possibly more than Godzilla.

6.       Order room service consisting of plate after plate of bacon and Pacifico’s for breakfast. (This is actually a fabulous idea anywhere I might add.)

7.       Once again Cosby’s fame has not reached Las Vegas. Dropping his name at the club does not get you a table and bottle service. (We need to work on this)

8.       Spend day at the pool surrounded by Canadian women and letting them know there are much better clothing options other than denim and plaid while also expounding on how lucky they are to be America’s hat. (I know, charmer right?)

9.       Contemplate marrying a Canadian beauty and thus being able to experience what free health care is really like and also securing a lifetime supply of maple syrup only to be left on the way to the alter to an offer by the would be maid of honor of a new pair of heals at Gucci for the bride to be.  

10.    Realizing that $2 will get you a double top shelf vodka and lemon in Chico but will only get you a couple of ice cubes in your drink in Vegas.

I’ve given Las Vegas a year to pick itself up off the floor and lick the wounds that were delivered to it courtesy of my last visit and will be making my triumph return to this mistake in the desert in a few short days with some unfinished business from the last trip yet to be accomplished. If you own, frequent or live near some these following attractions this is your warning…

1.       Walk into club and pass umbrellas out to all in attendance and inform them that, yes it maybe August, but rain is in the forecast.

2.        Pump numerous rounds of ammo through a plethora of automatic weapons why sipping on a cocktail at one of Vegas’s famous ranges and experience what it’s like to be Dan Bilzerian for a brief moment. (Men, if you don’t know who this is, turn in your card)

3.       Be Kate Upton’s drunken mistake. (You hear that Justin Verlander??? Who’s got the better fastball now?)

4.       Sit in a cabana by the pool and have the likes of Leo and the Bieb’s ask themselves just who is that guy?

You’ve got have goals peeps…….

PS. Happy hump day from God’s Country peeps, enjoy it and remember…. Anything less than your “A” game is a failing grade.

#LasVegas #Vegas #Barsottibachelorparty #idiots #empireliving 

Death, riots and looting...Yep sounds like Middle America

Dear Ferguson, Missouri residents,

A tragedy occurred last Saturday in a small community outside of St. Louis. Now it’s not a tragedy because Michael Brown is black, a child and was unarmed when he died like the newswires and social media continues to report on. It’s a tragedy because someone lost their life. There are always two sides to every story in life and this is no different. When the incident took place people were quick to blame law enforcement with the cries of police brutality and the murder of an innocent citizen along with justice must be served. A picture was carefully painted to us that Michael Brown was an innocent black child walking home with a friend and was gunned down in cold blood by a white police officer in plain daylight. But wait….You’re telling me there is more to this story??? You don’t say??? Recent information has now surfaced that Michael Brown and his friend were suspects in a strong-armed robbery that had just taking place at a convenient store. There is also evidence to suggest that there was a confrontation between Mr. Brown and the officer and a struggle for the policeman’s gun. His current state was not the one of the child that is provided to you by the media. He was an 18 year old man who weighed close to three bills. So what side do you believe? I’m putting my money on is the untold story. We are too quick to judge and take sides as a society. Just because an idiot (Note to people reading my literature for the first time, I love that word) of Al Sharpton’s stature gets on a soap box every time there is a headline that involves the words “black”, “racism” and “exposure” do you need to fall in line with his beliefs. Let the process play out and form an opinion once all the facts are presented to you. The reaction to the events that took place I will never understand. Why do people find it necessary to riot, burn and loot the place you call home? It doesn’t show an act of solidarity coming together as a community, it demonstrates to the world that you are an uncivilized heathen or in better terms an idiot. Please tell me how does stealing TV’s, booze, Nikes, etc. and then setting fire to a building bring Michael Brown back???...It doesn’t. This followed by the response of tear gas and heavily armed officers in riot gear and armored vehicles had me doing a double take to make sure I was still living in America. When I think of the Midwest, corn, factories and bad football come to mind not Beirut or Baghdad. At the end of the day a life was lost which by any means is sad. Let’s just remember that we live in a country where we are innocent until proven guilty or have we all been quick to forget about that fact…..

PS. Happy Friday peeps, I drank Bud Light last night so pardon me on the briefness of this post and remember….Everybody has soul, it’s the ones who dance that are special.

#Ferguson #michaelbrown #stlouis #riots #empireliving