Dear 2019 CMA Awards,
As another year inches closer to the end it brings us many things. Summer turns to Autumn, leaves begin to fall, harvest comes to a close, flip flops and t-shirts are soon replaced by sweatshirt and Uggs (well at least speaking for myself, Tom Brady and most women) and more importantly another CMA Music Awards show. With each passing year I want to think that somehow there's a person in Nashville reading this and will finally make that much needed change to bring real country music home. With that hope, I present to you the 8th or 9th review of the CMA Awards.
- Opening act is a mix of Carrie’s legs, Dolly’s chest and Reba’s voice. CMA’s, you have my attention.
- A plethora of women from country music’s past now dots the stage, the smile stays on my face.
- Apparently Terry Clark and Brad Paisley shop at the same hat store.
- Gretchen Wilson just hit the stage, hotel rooms everywhere rejoice.
- Martina McBride can be added to the list of people who can eat crackers in my baed. With or without her dentures.
- Twenty minutes in and I have yet to see Luke Bryan. My remote has suddenly become more friendlier with me.
- Every female who shares the same age bracket as myself just remembered the first time they got drunk. Thank you Deena Carter.
- Jeffery Epstein didn't kill himself.
- Blake Shelton wins first award of the night. He has normal jeans and cowboy boots on. Flipping through the channels to make are this is the CMA’s.
- Some guys named Dan and Shay are mumbling something about being speechless, I feel the same way about them being considered country.
- The dude from Blues Travelers just accepted a reward for Luke Combs.
- Miranda, why is our timing always off?
- Reba. Fancy. You win Nashville.
- I think Old Dominion served me my oat milk latte this morning.
- The hotness of Carrie Underwood has no equal.
- I fell Luke Combs would do well at the Tackle Box.
- Kelsey Ballerini, bravo. I said a a long time ago that women will be Nashville’s savior.
- Lindsey Ell is Canada’s greatest export.
- Halfway through the show and the tightest jeans still belong to a female.
- My wardrobe needs to creep closer towards Midlands.
- With every great performance, they mix in a dan and shay to remind my TV that it’s a remote control toss away from retirement.
- It’s November 13th and Ronnie Dunn still hasn't taken off his Halloween costume. He makes a great skeleton though.
- “Damn it Thomas, wear something country!” -Rhett Akins
- Is Keith Urban’s brand of country considered an impeachable offense?
- Bobby Bones > Ryan Seacrest
- I want Maury Povich to reveal that I am indeed the father of Maren Morris’s child.
- Eric Church is an icon. Prove me wrong.
- I bet Luke Combs isn't celebrating his male artist of the year award with a salad.
- If Willie Nelson wanted to smoke me out I wouldn't say no.
- How come we have never seen Garth Brooks and Chris Gaines in the same room ever?
- Female vocalist of the year goes to Kasey Musgraves. I am not one of your haters.
- Garth Brooks, Entertainer of the Year. For a brief moment, Nashville can do no wrong. Thank you.
As the awards show came to and end and I turned off my television a tear began to roll down my face. You know that feeling you get when you tell your child that you are proud of them for the first time? That is what filled my heart tonight. Nashville, please make this the norm and not an anomaly and we the fans will come back. God Bless.
Ps. I hope you enjoyed another installment of this annual event peeps and remember….Drinking is optional, but always preferred.
#CMAawards #CMAs #Nashville #countrymusic #awardsshow #ABC #review #americastrong
