Friday, December 4, 2015

Guns...Taking the blame for responsibility and leadership in America

Dear President Obama, gun control advocates, “Radical” Muslims, ISIS and anyone who hates America,

For the last five days a gun has been by my side in my truck. It has traveled with me from my home to my place of work. It rode shotgun (literally) as I made my way to the grocery store and running other errands throughout town. It was there next to me as I took in a movie the other night and was in the same place when I went downtown and grabbed a drink. It has been to numerous locations that are bustling with people during this holiday season and you know what???........It NEVER killed anyone. I know that the media and you Barry might find this astonishing but guns are not the problem no matter how many senseless acts of violence and now terrorism that you try to pin on them to further your own agenda. It took the president of our great country less than an hour after the tragedy unfolded in San Bernardino, CA that took 14 innocent lives to pin the blame on guns. No condolences to those who were murdered, their families or a call to wait for all the facts to come across his desk in the oval office to address the situation before passing judgement. The minute he heard the words “guns” he followed it with “control”… How very Obama of you. Enough about Barry, I have already given him too much airtime as it is. What happened to the United States? We are failing as a country because we have raised a generation of youth that are afraid to address the daunting issues we face because they are scared of the repercussions for not coming off “politically correct”. I on the other hand do not have this problem and am going to do my civic duty for my country to explain the latest tragedies that “guns” have caused in the United States.

1.       In Colorado, a gun did not go into a Planned Parenthood clinic and kill 2 civilians and 1 police officer. A mentally deranged white Christian male who did not like the option of a woman’s right to choose did. What the media failed to let the American public know till long after this was front page news was that this harbinger of hate had numerous propane bottles in his truck that he intended to use to blow up the clinic. The same ones that you and I can pick up at our local Home Depot…No permit or background check required.
2.       In San Bernardino, California a domestic dispute between coworkers didn’t spark a shooting rampage that killed the previously mentioned victims at a Christmas party, an act of terrorism by two Muslims who pledged allegiance to ISIS did. People don’t “randomly” have tactical clothes, AK-47’s and numerous pipe bombs and IED’s just laying around there living room. Terrorists do. Foreign and domestic.

You see what I did their???....Clean, simple, honest and straight to the point. If you are a white Christian male or a Muslim and have a problem with this, then you too are also what is wrong with this country. Taking responsibility for ones actions is what we should have all been taught in our adolescence. Passing this lesson along to the future of this country is the responsibility of parents, teachers, peers, mentors, etc. This nation cannot prosper again until we stop placing blame on an object and symbol of freedom in this country and the Amendment that protects it and start holding individuals and people responsible. In breaking news, in the time it took me to write this blog my gun still has yet to kill someone. Merica….

PS. Happy Friday peeps on this cool December morning in God’s Country. Have an amazing weekend and remember…..Having sex with an ex on a Thursday isn’t cheating, it’s a throwback.

#Obama #Muslim #ISIS #SanBernardino #guns #guncontrol #nra #empireliving 

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Nashville, you never fail to take the "country" out of music

Dear 2015 CMA Awards,

Hey peeps, remember me? That rice farmer who tries to make you both smile and think in 500 words or less. You know the guy with the black dog and attempts to drink the town out of vodka at least two days out of the week (I’ve actually been quite successful at it of late). I figured what better way to jump back into the blogosphere game then to bring to you my 5th or 6th annual review of the state of country music in Nashville. My cocktail is full so please enjoy….

1.       The last few years the CMA’s have tried to fool me by marching out a young hot blonde or insert some country singer from the 80’s or 90’s as the opening act to convince me that their brand of country is worth listening to. This year is no different as Hank Williams Jr. and Eric Church take the stage along with the largest Merica Flag this side of Wittmeier Ford. The CMA’s know all my weaknesses. Well played.
2.       Failing to capitalize on that momentum, John Cougar Mellencamp takes the stage.
3.       Has anyone ever seen Jon Bon Jovi, Keith Urban and Ellen DeGeneres in the same room at the same time?    
4.       Thank you for finally purchasing a new hat Brad Paisley. I was completely out of material concerning this topic.
5.       Nothing says country music like William Shatner on stage dressed as a Star Wars character. I’ve only had one cocktail but just rushed to the kitchen to make another after witnessing this.
6.       Sequins are made for women and Bruce Jenner, not for dudes wearing cowboy hats.
7.       Nice to see Notre Dame’s mascot on stage. Wait…..That’s Zac Brown with the beard and green velour jacket???
8.       Do you think Kenny Chesney gets upset when he’s at Disneyland and sees one of those “must be this tall to ride” signs?
9.       Congratulations Sam Hunt. There’s now someone I hate more than Florida/Georgia Line.
10.   Shouldn’t it be easy to find a cowboy hat at a country music awards show?
11.   Two awards presented thus far and both have honored a song that is found on rotation on most pop stations across the country.
12.   Bolo tie, cowboy hat with cool feathers, Chris Stapleton. Nashville, this is what country looks like.
13.   Carrie Underwood, if you crawled into my bed with those boots on I wouldn’t be mad.
14.   One hour into the show and 1/3 of a bottle of Tito’s down. This isn’t meant to be funny, I just love Tito’s vodka a lot.
15.   Justin Timberlake and Chris Stapleton. Drop the mic and role the credits please.
16.   Florida/Georgia Line take the stage. After the above mentioned performance I’m glad you can put the Nashville back into country.
17.   More Eric Church is a good thing.
18.   Cowboy boots, jeans that fit, Chris Stapleton. Keep taking notes Nashville.
19.   Blake Shelton, you slept with my wife but yet I still can find no hate for you.
20.   No skinny jeans, leather bracelets or pleather gun holster shirts..WTF Luke Bryan?! I have a review to write!
21.   For the record, I am still not the lead singer of Rascal Flatts.
22.   Miranda, I have no idea what that song was about but I’m sure it was dedicated to me. Love ya babe and hurry home soon before I eat your crackers.
23.   Marcus’s skinny jeans: 1       Jason Aldean’s: 0
24.   Kacey Musgraves takes the stage in feathered sequins. Looks like I’m going to have to buy a bigger bed and more crackers.
25.   Dierks, I like that you’re shopping in Eric Church’s closet these days.
26.   Do you think Miranda reads the letter I wrote her before bed each night? I like to think so.
27.   Nashville, rolling out greats like Reba doesn’t make you country, it makes you unoriginal.
28.   How ironic is it that Brooks and Dunn are singing “Play something country”?
29.   Talking about your daddy who passed away, thanking your momma, shedding a tear, Chris Stapleton. Two words…God Bless.
30.   Luke Bryan “Entertainer of the Year”. Let that sink in once again.
31.   3 hours, a buzz and not a single Taylor Swift sighting. I guess the night wasn’t a total waste.

The accolades that Chris Stapleton received tonight proved that no matter how much Nashville tries to shove their brand of country down our throats real musicians are out there and thriving. Somewhere Waylon Jennings is smiling…

PS. Happy Thursday peeps, you are the reason I write and hope to bring more to you soon. Have an amazing weekend and remember…..Life is too short not to drink early.

#2015CMAs #nashville #chrisstapleton #brocountry #empireliving 

Friday, July 31, 2015

A message from Cecil the lion

Dear concerned public,

Hello, I’m Cecil the lion and if you are reading this I am dead. Most of you had no idea who I was for the first 12.9 years of my life until about 48 hours ago so I felt it was necessary to take the time to let the public know my thoughts and feelings from the grave upon my recent demise. Now there are only a few ways this could have happened:

1.       Natural causes.
2.       Poacher.
3.       I ate a little too much gazelle and wandered from the friendly confines of my reservation and was killed legally.

The first reason gets the best of all of us. I’ve lived a good life and had no regrets. I have seen parts of Africa that others can only dream of. I have feasted on zebra, water buffalo and an occasional villager who thought that it was a good idea to saunter away from his hut minus his trusty spear. If scenario two is the reason you are reading my last will and testament than I ask that whoever it was, whether it be a local who are the reason my kind are in the protected state we are in or it be a dentist from America I ask that you punish them to the full extent of the law. Poachers are the politicians of the hunting world. They don’t hunt, they kill and are the reason why hunters and hunting is frowned upon among the minority of the world. Unfortunately that minority are the people that control what you see in the media. What you don’t realize is that legal hunters are who pay for the sanctuaries that I and others like me call home. Without them, poachers would have hunted us to extinction years ago. Now if the 3rd and final choice is how I met my demise than I have no one to blame but myself. I should have been smarter than that, I mean I have spent the last 13 years of my life living the dream. Hwange National Park was my oyster, and I took advantage of all the pearls it had to offer. I had my own pride I ran, numerous lionesses at my fingertips and people who paid thousands of dollars just to take a picture of myself and others who call the park home. Now I don’t know where all that money goes but the Zimbabwe government has said that it stays in the park and helps us, the wildlife who call it home. Isn’t it funny that no matter what anyone really talks about be it life, death or anything in-between the conversation always comes back to government? Let me tell you something about my government. It is ran by Robert Mugabe. He is a dictator who has turned the vibrant, beautiful and rich country I call home into a place riddled with corruption, police and military brutality and fear. He has executed thousands of my fellow countryman along the way to ensure that no one will challenge his rule. Real standup guy.  If by chance I am killed legally and he calls for whoever did it to be extradited back to Zimbabwe to face punishment please tell him to pound sand. Finally I wanted to reinforce to you that legal hunters are not bad people. For thousands of years humans have shared Earth with other animals and have hunted to survive just like myself and other predators. Today, they along with conservation efforts by others are the reason you can still see myself and others like me in something other than a book. They are good people who don’t kill just to kill. Friends, don’t use my death to chastise the few, use it as a rallying call to end poaching in my country and around the world and most importantly let this shed some light on Zimbabwe and its leadership. I am just one lion, amongst a country of many good humans, focus on the atrocities that happen here daily before my 15 minutes of fame fade and the liberal media moves on to the next cause. One last thing….RWAR!!!!! Scared you didn’t I??? Meow.

PS. Happy Friday peeps and remember….All the girls get prettier at closing time or after 10 shots of Fireball, really there is no difference.

#Cecilthelion #Cecil #zimbabwe #hunters #poachers #hollywood #empireliving   

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

An open letter to Miranda Lambert

(An open letter to Miranda Lambert)

Dear Miranda Lambert,

It’s been a week since you and Blake called it quits. It is at about this time that things begin to settle down, and the initial shock of a breakup starts to wear off. At this point you begin to take the steps to heal that broken heart and decide where to go from here. Failure gets the best of us all. Your life has played out like a country song in the tabloids recently and to be honest, you deserve better than “Some beach” and “Sangria” my dear. As you move on and look to mend that heart of yours, I’m here to lend you some sage advice and where you should go from here to find “true” love. Now, I’m impartial so please hear me out Miranda. Your close friends are going to suggest that you hit up a bar or club to mix it up and keep your mind off Blake. This while fun, is a horrible idea that will only fuel the rumors of infidelity and mistrust that lead you to this place. Plus, are you really going to find your soulmate at 3am hopped up on cheap beer and tequila? Trust me, I do this every weekend and have yet to strap a ring on a finger. Some may suggest you stay at home and find “yourself” during this time. Two words come to mind with this thought process….Bad idea. Staying home is only going to make you think of the “what if’s” more which will drive you crazy thus leading you to the refrigerator and late night Netflix binges fueled by anger and despair. Others may tell you to go an unconventional route and try your hand at the internet dating game. They will tell you it will give you the best of the previously mentioned options in that you can meet new people, but from the comfort of your own home. Ask yourself do you really want to weed through,,,,,, etc. to find someone to share the rest of your life with? Miranda, I am here to offer you option #3. That option is ME! I know this is a bold move on my part but if you never put yourself out there you may never find “the one”. I wanted to give you a brief view inside my life and what I can offer you.

1.       Fun and laughter: I have a gift for making pretty blondes smile. My charm has no boundary.  
2.       Communication skills: A man has to know when a women wants advice or to merely have you listen. Through years of trial and error I have honed this most treasured and useful relationship skill.
3.       Financial security and intelligence: Many of the suitors that will be chasing you will only be after your hard earned money and a place to hunt (well I may want that place to hunt). I don’t need your money, but if you want to purchase me a lavish gift, say maybe a bear hunt in Alaska or a fishing trip to Canada I’m not going to say no. I’m no dummy.
4.       Hunting, fishing, farming, jeep rides and an ice chest full of ice cold beer: All these things are awesome. Pretty much panty droppers. That’s all that needs to be said.  
5.       The black dog: Just when you thought that you have found the perfect match with all the above mentioned qualities I throw the quintessential “icing on the cake” and present to you Cosby. From retrieving ducks to spinning in circles in the back of the truck to gracing the pages of the latest farm magazine you will never stop smiling at his antics. He can also be referred to as the “deal sealer”.

Miranda what I’m trying to say is true love is the soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another. Get in your little red wagon and put it in automatic and come on over because you’re the fastest girl in town. Mamma’s broken heart can’t be mended with kerosene but it sure as hell can be with some gun powder and lead plus some smoking and drinking. I can promise you that I’m not a white liar and holding on to you is better in the long run for a heart like mine. Now if including the titles of 11 of your songs in my closing statement and making sense doesn’t make you pick up that phone and dial my number than I don’t know what the definition of love really is….XOXOXO

Much love,  
Marcus Monroe

PS. Happy Wednesday peeps on this scorcher of a day in God’s Country. Hopefully by the time you read this I will be on my way to Nashville and remember….If you’re talking to a girl and she says she’s “been through a lot” never reply with “dicks?” It’s a deal a deal breaker.

#mirandalambert #blakeshelton #divorce #nashville #empireliving 

Friday, July 17, 2015

Unite our country in a time other than tragedy

Dear domestic terrorism,

Question: What happens when you decide to attack the United States and its military personal on its own soil?

Answer: You die.

It’s the same answer you will receive if this tragedy where marines lost their lives happened in a country other than our own. Terrorism towards our nation isn’t a domestic or foreign thing, it’s a hate thing. It’s a hatred of our way of life and if you attack America and our military here or abroad, you are an enemy to myself and the masses who call this country home. It doesn’t matter if you hail from the Middle East wrapped in a bathrobe and rocking a towel as a hat or call a trailer house located in the Midwest home and you throw back Bud heavies as the Rebel flag flies in your driveway. We will find you, and we will punish you. The question that we need to ask ourselves is why did this tragedy happened and why do these terrorist attacks continue to take place across the world? The answer to this may be simpler than you think. With every “black lives matter” protest, pro-life demonstration or rally against the Confederate flag we see in the media on a daily basis we continue to lose sight of what really matters….The United States of America. You know the place we call home that contrary to popular belief is still home of opportunity and freedom and we have two World War championship rings to prove it. As this great nation continues to deteriorate from the inside, groups like ISIS, Al-Qaeda, Al Cracker, etc. sees this as an opening to attack what America stands for. A weakened home front is an invitation for them to continue this. I think we sometimes lose track of what this country is about and why it was founded. It wasn’t too long ago that we recited the Pledge of Allegiance every morning in class and you took your hat off and crossed your heart when the national anthem played. We did this not only to honor this country and those who have died making it what it is, but the opportunity that it has afforded all who call it home. You know, the things that make you proud to be an American. The sad thing is that you only see this in time of tragedy in this country. We need to come together as one on the reg. We are one nation and one flag that represents many. Until we realize what really matters is the red, white and blue flag that flies so proudly at houses, parks, schools, government buildings, etc. across America we will never really be safe from the threat of those who hate us. Patriotism isn’t racism, its love of country and the last time I checked it included 318 million people who were Republican, Democrat, black, white, brown, straight, gay, Christian, Muslim, rich, poor, etc. In closing I would just like to say Constitution, bald eagle, guns, Reagan, Old Glory, apple pie but most of all….Merica. God Bless (No matter what one you pray too)

PS. Happy Friday peeps, please enjoy your weekend and remember…French fries are practically salad, that’s why ranch is must.

#domestic #terrorism #marines #unitedstates #patriotism #empireliving 

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Remember when we accepted responsibility?

Dear personal responsibility,
A  list of current headlines in the news:
“Confederate flag responsible for murders at a South Carolina church”
“Greece threatens to leave the EU if financial bailout isn’t approved”
“Girl dies at the hands of a gun in San Francisco”
What is wrong with these attention grabbing stories? They like most news worthy events these days blame anybody and everything other than who or what is truly responsible for an act. Why implicate yourself when you can easily accuse someone or something else?! Who or what is at fault for what is happening to society when it comes to personable responsibility???....WE ARE. It is really quite simple to see where we went wrong when it pertains to personal responsibility. It starts at home. Discipline use to be commonplace. You did something wrong as a child, you were punished for it. I’m not talking about timeout or the threat of your IPhone being taking away. Not too long ago children were spanked when they did something wrong, and you know what….It worked!!! Liberals, spanking is not a form of child abuse, it is a tool to teach your son or daughter right from wrong. It teaches RESPONSIBILITY for one’s actions. From the home it moved to gyms and sports fields across America. At the end of a game there is always a winner and a loser. Lessons are taught to the individuals and teams from each outcome. Real life emulates sports. It is the RESPONSIBILITY of the participants to take something away from the outcome of the event, good or bad. In youth athletics today these lessons are lost. You see, scores are not kept and trophies and ribbons are handed out to each team, win or lose strictly for the fact that they are “participating” in the sport. As someone who has been involved in organized athletics my entire life, “participating” in something whether it be a sport, academic competition, etc. doesn’t earn you a medal or award. Winning earns you this. Life lessons aren’t taught when you simply partake in something. The next place it showed up was in classrooms throughout the country. Remember when you graduated from school and it counted? After 12 years of schooling and growing from an adolescence into an adult you received your high school diploma. Some of us moved on to college and after 4 to 7 years (depending on if you went to Chico State) of hard work we were able to walk across that stage and hold our hands up high and say “we did it”, we are college graduates. It was your RESPONSIBILITY to go to school and get the best grades possible. If you were failing in a certain subject, you received the necessary help in order to improve. Today, there is a graduation ceremony for every grade. Parents and the American education system are continuing the pattern by rewarding our youth for everything they do. Grades are no longer given out for fear that it will shatter a child’s self worth if they don’t receive a passing mark. We continue to teach our kids that everyone's a winner and if they fail to succeed it not their fault. These lessons are carried into adulthood, thus giving us the previous mentioned news headlines. Here is what the headlines look like when you insert PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY into them:
“A flag didn’t kill those people in that church in South Carolina, a deranged evil individual did.”
“Greece isn’t in financial turmoil because of others in the European Union, it is because they are a nation of freeloaders who would rather continue to take handouts rather than tighten their belt in hard times.”
“An innocent girl didn’t lose her life because of a gun, she lost it due to the fact that the city of San Francisco and its laws harbored an illegal alien with a violent criminal past.”
No blame, just honest answers. It is really that simple…
PS. Happy hump day peeps, my your work day be short and 5pm cocktail be cold and remember….When you plan on nothing, you’re never disappointed.
#personal #responsibility #confederateflag #greece #illegalaliens #empireliving

Thursday, June 11, 2015

Main stream country music is no place for a cowboy hat

Dear CMT country music awards,

Hello peeps, it has been awhile since I have done a review on the current state of country music so I decided to open a bottle of good red wine and sit down last night to take in the awards show presented by thee country network itself, CMT. Please enjoy….

1.       Show starts with One Direction singing there new hit single. Wait…That was a country act that goes by the name “Lady Antebellum”? One minute in and the confusion starts.
2.       I’m making this exciting tonight. Currently have a bottle of Fireball sitting in front of me. Every time they show Cole Swindell in that ball cap I’m taking a shot. Once again, this is all for your enjoyment peeps.
3.       What could possibly make Carrie Underwood look better? Four words: Short. Tight. White. Dress.
4.       Next musical act is Hootie. Two performances into the show and both are of the pop genera. Best country awards show yet.
5.       Reba. For you keeping score at home we are currently at the 45 minute mark of the show and I am hearing real country music for the first time.
6.       Macklemore, don’t you know you’re not supposed to wear white after Labor Day? Huh???...That’s Sam Hunt?
7.       I think Ron White ages in dog years.
8.       One hour into the show and the first cowboy hat is spotted. Unfortunately the skinny jeans, chains, leather jewelry and earrings accompanying it cancels out all the good will this generated. Thanks a lot Jason Aldean.
9.       Bruce Willis’s daughter is the opposite of hot.
10.   Florida/Georgia Line makes there first appearance. You would think that with all the money they make they wouldn’t need to steal jeans out of Andy Stone’s closet.
11.   Chris Jansen will be a superstar. Write that down.
12.   If every country station played Eric Church on loop I wouldn’t get mad. Just saying.
13.   Remember when Brooks and Dunn was the top duet in country? Ya…I miss that.
14.   Luke Bryan upped his game this year. The addition of a red pleather shoulder holster to his “What isn’t country” ensemble is a game changer.
15.   Is the blonde dude in Little Big Town the last surviving member of ABBA?
16.   Carrie Underwood, I’m currently shifting my entire budget to crackers. You know where to find them.
17.   Someone just arrived on stage in an inflatable bed and boat shoes. It looks like a Britney Spears performance with the dancers and choreography but someone has just informed me it’s some guy named Jake Owens. George Strait currently has that “I’m not mad, I am disappointed” look on his face in the crowd.
18.   I really do like Kelsea Ballerini. It’s more for her being hot and blonde than her music but you get what I am saying.
19.   Currently at the 90 minute mark in the show. Starting on bottle number two. I gave the remote to the black dog and told him to put it in a safe place. We both really do like the new 60 inch TV.
20.   How come Billy Ray Cyrus hasn’t got the media attention that Bruce Jenner has for his sex change? He’s still a man…..Ooops.
21.     It upsets me that every time Jason Aldean accepts an award he fails to thank Benny Brown Ford for his success.
22.   JJ Watt. Best human being on the planet.
23.   I really love good red wine. I know this has nothing to do with this post’s topic but neither does this awards show and country music.
24.   I like Jon Bon Jovi’s new song. It’s catchy. Wait…That’s Keith Urban??? I fall for that one every time.
25.   Glad to see our former governor is doing well.
26.   Instead of putting Alan Jackson in a forgettable skit why not put a guitar in his hand and let him do what he does best?
27.   The Biebs? Really? Cosby is guarding the location of the remote closer than that Bush’s Baked Beans dog.
28.   Sam Hunt Was just introduced as the “newest sensation” in country music. His white onesie accompanied by tennis shoes backs up this statement.
29.   The Biebs is currently sitting as the 4th “most country” person associated with this awards show.
30.   Do you think Kenney Chesney gets more upset than Kris Teresi when he’s turned away from a ride on the Zipper at the carnival for his lack in elevation?
31.   I would wash my hand after Luke Bryan gave me a high five.
32.   Carrie Underwood takes the stage again as her big, hockey playing husband cheers her on. Currently debating if I should give her a box of crackers to take home to him for his hospitality.
33.   Show ends with Arnold Schwarzenegger on stage in what appears to be a cowboy hat. I think I have had too much to drink and need to go to bed.

The show had a lot of positives. First off my TV survived the night which is a rarity when it comes to my music reviews. Secondly and most importantly was that this was one of the best pop music awards show I’ve seen in a long time…..Wait….You’re telling me that was “Country”??? On second thought, Country music in Nashville is still dead. Merica…..

PS. Happy Thursday peeps on this scorcher in God’s Country. Stay cool and remember….Moderation is for cowards. 

#CMT #CMTawardsshow #countrymusic #nashville #empireliving 

Friday, June 5, 2015

My response to my detractors: A Bruce Jenner story

Dear tolerance according to the left,

One of the enjoyments that I get when I write is the responses received from the given subject covered. Recently, I broached the topic of Bruce Jenner and his decision to undergo the necessary hormone treatment and surgeries needed to become a woman. The comments started immediately concerning this media driven subject matter from people on both the right and left of the political paradigm. Now I usually don’t chose to participate, but rather let the audience dictate how the discussion goes. I jump in from time to time and remove comments and pictures that I deem offensive to friends and followers of my posts. If you can’t keep your thoughts clean, and eloquently state your words than you should step away from the computer and grab a crayon and scribble out those thoughts on that brown stationary with the big spacing that we all learned cursive on in grade school. As things started to unfold concerning the post on Wednesday, I felt that I had to reply to some of the hate that was being generated by a particular portion of the audience. Yes, I know you are all thinking that the “redneck, small town, Republican beer drinkers” who follow me were the culprits. While some that can be pigeon holed into that description posted a few pics that I removed from the piece the main offender was that of the liberal left. You know the ones I’m talking about, they stand up on their soapbox and talk down to all who don’t fall in line with their beliefs. They are imperialistic in nature and attack all who dare have another opinion on a given subject that doesn’t align with their own. For example, in a 365 word response to the Bruce Jenner piece, I and others were chastised for our political beliefs, where we get our news, locations in which we live and most importantly having an opinion on a subject. To up the hatred of elitism demonstrated by a good majority of Obama voters I was even attacked on my writing and overall literacy skills. Now I won’t drop names of the offenders because that makes myself and others with similar beliefs just like them, plus in a cowardly act, they chose to “un-friend” me once making these vague and hateful statements towards myself and some of the audience, a real courageous thing to do. Before I give this post and my rebuttal to the above mentioned response any more time, let me first start by saying that nowhere in my piece concerning the man formally known as Bruce Jenner did I say I was against or for what has done to his body or continues to do. With that out of the way I would like to address some to the “horrible” accusations hurled at me and others one at a time. (*Note: I have taking sentences out of these statements due to their length, but have not changed them in any other way.)

1.       “We all sound like conservative assholes in this thread.” Very thought provoking and mature with this opening statement, especially the use of an expletive so quickly in your response. Speaking only for myself, I do have conservative values when it comes to small government, the Constitution and fiscal policies. I am also for a woman and man’s right to choose, helping people who need help and not a handout and giving everyone the opportunity to make something of themselves. What I am trying to say is I am pro-America and don’t follow any established political path that is established because both systems and their thoughts are broken. This is why the United States is in the mess it is in. (Vote for Marcus Monroe!)
2.       “By providing facts, do you mean Fox and CNN which presumably are your viable source of news” First off as a card toting member of the liberal movement you should know that CNN is an extremely left leaning news source. Being that you don’t I’m going to assume your information on local and world affairs comes out of the pages of People, US Weekly and whatever else you scan while waiting in the checkout line at the grocery store. Being informed means not only following news source that lean in your political favor but watching, reading, etc. ones that don’t. Every source will put their version of a “spin” on a story and it takes the intellect of the individual following along to pull out the true facts and meaning of the account.
3.       “Maybe it’s because you all live in Chico and other farm towns where individuals just like yourself don’t get to see the effect that it has. (Referring to Jenner and the transsexual community. It is also stated that she “sees” this first hand living in San Francisco.) Ok, let me get this straight, because some of us live in small towns, we don’t see what others do who choose major cities as their home? The bigotry in this statement is outstanding and is a slap in the face to trans-genders and others who call rural America home. You also stated that you HAVE seen first-hand the impact that Bruce Jenner’s decision has had on the “trans community” of San Francisco. Being that when I wrote the piece that Bruce’s cover shot was less than 24 hours old I find it hard to believe that you were out on the streets in the Loin taking a straw poll on the subject. Good effort with the caps though, great way to get a point across.
4.       “Obviously you care enough to make a whole post about it that only God knows how long it took you to write.” If I were to write what you wrote verbatim, I would be pulling out the aforementioned crayons to do your piece justice. To tell you the truth it took me a little over 2 hours and a half of bottle of good red for the post. You see the thing about good journalism is that it doesn’t matter the amount of time you put into writing it. It’s the effort and quality of your work and how it stimulates conversation amongst an audience that makes it great.

We live in a country that gives us the opportunity to be who we are and say what we want whether your straight, gay, bi, tranny, white, black, brown, purple, male, female, etc. Liberals, your way of thinking and your treatment of others is old and tired. Championing your cause of elitism and trying to silence others isn’t democracy, it’s a dictatorship. Ask North Korea and Cuba how that is going for them. Liberals, I’ll leave some paper and Crayola’s for your response to that, thank you for your time and by the way did I mention my piece wasn’t against Bruce’s sex change….Merica.

PS. Happy Friday peeps, have an amazing weekend and remember….Hearts are wild creatures, that’s why our ribs are cages.

#brucejenner #caitlynjenner #liberals #elitism #liberalism #empireliving

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Does anyone remember Caitlyn Jenner on that Wheaties box???

Dear Caitlyn Jenner,

Remember world-class athlete Bruce Jenner who could run like the wind, jump higher than most humans and throw a javelin further than anybody? He was that guy who was on the Wheaties box after setting a world record in the decathlon at the 1976 Olympics Games. In his prime, women loved him and men wanted to be him. The man was a living legend during the late 70’s and early 80’s in the United States. That man is now gone. In his place is a “woman” who goes by Caitlyn. As the rest of the world continues to rain praise on the reality star formerly known as “Bruce” for his choice to commit too a whole new wardrobe, the question I ask is…..WHO CARES???? Words like courage, bravery and hero are being used to describe a person who spent the average yearly salary of a solider just so someone can open the car door for him and pull his chair out at the dinner table. The use of vocabulary of this nature should be reserved for those who defend our country, emergency responders, cancer survivors, etc., not someone who had a medical procedure that is performed over a thousand times a year in the United States and even more prevalently around the world. Having a sex change is a CHOICE. It takes a lot of money as previously mentioned along with the advent of modern science to make it happen. Bruce, if this was 1980 and you were at the peak of your athletic game and decided to let the world know that you wanted to switch teams then I’m all for it being front page news. Both for the fact that you were still relevant and procedures like these weren’t as commonplace in our society. A 65 year old Bruce in 2015 deciding he wants to sit down when using the toilet to pee doesn’t make you a role model for others, it makes you someone who wants a paycheck from yet another reality show that doesn’t feature Kim (Wait…I might be able to get behind that!). The latest slap in the face to come out of Bruce’s decision to be chronicled by the E Network is ESPN’s announcement that he will be receiving the Arthur Ashe Courage award presented by the network. Let’s see, the tennis great suffered through racism in a predominantly white sport in his prime and then contracted the HIV virus through a blood transfusion during a heart procedure to save his life. Yep…..Kris’s husband’s plight sounds pretty comparable to Mr. Ashe’s. I guess Lauren Hill fulfilling her lifelong dream of playing college basketball all while having a brain tumor which was terminal right up until her death or army veteran Noah Galloway competing in numerous cross-fit events and marathons after losing an arm and a leg to a roadside bomb in Iraq weren’t courageous enough to get them into the discussion. Hero’s are men and women who define a moment, save a life or change the world. Bruce Jenner was that when he stood on at the top of the podium in 1976 as our national anthem played and accepted the gold medal. Now he is just a middle-aged woman named Caitlyn with a boob job and a bad face-lift….

Ps. I know it’s been a long time but happy hump day peeps. Please enjoy and remember….Running may drop pounds, but beards drop panties.

#brucejenner #caitlynjenner #kardashian #arthurashe #empireliving

Friday, April 3, 2015

The many definitions of the human heart

Dear human heart,

*Editor’s note: I am ok. This is just an opinion piece based on my expertise on the subject which I wanted to share with you. Compensation for such advise is appreciated.

The heart is defined as “A muscular organ in both humans and other animals, which pumps blood through the blood vessels of the circulatory system. Blood provides the body with oxygen and nutrients, and also assists in the removal of metabolic wastes.” All really important stuff if you ask me. There is another definition to this vital organ that Webster’s and others fail to recognize in print. It is that the heart “Is the only human organ that can be shared with another without the use of an operating table.” When you give your heart to someone you never quite know how it will end up. Will it grow with that person? Will it be broken? Is this a good idea? Is this a bad idea? Where will it lead? These questions and others like it are what we ask ourselves internally when it comes to opening our most precious organ to another. If we knew the answers to these questions life would be simple (good) but at the same time boring (bad). Besides these two elementary analogies when it comes to our hearts and what happens to them when we give it to another is without the aforementioned questions asked, we wouldn’t learn and become a better person from the experience that they give us. A heart that grows with another is a beautiful thing. It’s like a seed you plant in the spring. You do your best to give it all it needs to blossom. As each day passes you continue to smile as this relationship between two hearts matures. Yes, you will have bad days along the way but you learn to overcome adversity and move forward stronger than before. The pinnacle of this relationship is when it blooms. There really isn’t any other object or emotion to compare this to for those of us who have been lucky enough to be a part of something this special. As quickly as two hearts develop they can be torn apart in the blink of an eye. That same plant that was blooming, can be hit with rain and cold and stunt or kill that flower. A heart that has been hurt or broken has no specific cure. It’s up to the individual to deal with the pain caused by another. What I’ve learned in my short time on this planet is that everyone is different. Some get over loved ones very quickly while in others it may take a great allotment of time to heal what is ailing them. However you deal with the situation it won’t be easy. You will think about them daily both in a good way and bad. A song will come on the radio and trigger a memory. They will pop up on social media doing something you use to do together. It’s hard, but guess what?  One day you just wake up and it’s gone. This is the one thing that I can promise you. No matter what you think, or how bad it hurts, this will happen. God made life too short for it not to be this way. Now I’m not saying that those memories will fade because they never will. You see, the hearts storage ability is endless. It takes those past thoughts and feelings and tucks them away for future references. It’s a notebook to look back on the next time you find a heart that you want to share yours with. That next heart will eventually come along. The love you share with it will not be the same as the other or others in the past and that by all accounts is a good thing because they didn’t work out. The key to this all is never be afraid to give your heart to someone when it feels right. The seed that is planted the next time may just be the one that flowers and you never know where that might lead…

PS. Happy Friday peeps. I hope you all get to spend this Easter weekend with family and loved ones and remember….Eat more bacon and have more sex. You can’t go wrong with either.

#heart #humanheart #blossom #empireliving

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Blame Jerry Brown for the drought

Dear Gov. Jerry Brown and statewide water restrictions,
Yesterday Jerry Brown stepped in front of the cameras sporting his best “man of the people” clothes and proclaimed that for the first time in California’s history there will be mandatory water restrictions put into place due to the lowest snowpack ever recorded. As brown lawns, no lake time, fallow fields and the possibility of finding another line of employment ran through my mind I took a minute to ask myself who is to blame for this historic drought? The easy answer is Mother Nature. She has been a moody bitch the last few years when it comes to precipitation in the form of rain and much needed snow in our state. Knowing the consequences that arise when it comes to blaming a woman for anything and the impending backlash associated with it, I am going to refrain from attacking her (you are beautiful by the way). OK, so if it’s not Mother Nature then who? Drum roll please…… Politicians! I know shocking right, who would think that the people we vote into office would fail us. The irony of the situation is that the man who will be implementing these unprecedented reductions is the same liberal governor who could have stopped this from happening way back in the 70’s. Yes, the same Jerry Brown who presided over the last great water crisis this state faced is the man sitting in Arnold’s former desk in Sacramento. Strategic planning is not something government thinks about. It takes a “wait and see approach” to issues and then responds with a knee jerk reaction when something occurs. 40 years ago measures could have been put into place to prevent what is happening currently. I may not be a scientist from NASA but Chico State taught me that an ever growing population coupled with a water system that stays stagnant or is wasted is not sustainable. Being that I like water, food, green grass, lakes and beer (made of water) If I was 70’s Jerry Brown with cool hair I would have said to myself, “Hey this drought sucks, we need water storage, let’s build some dams!” and “Why are we wasting millions of gallons of water every year that finds its way to the ocean instead of being utilized in an efficient manner? The fish were fine before we were around and they will be fine when we are gone! Let’s make this happen senators and members of the assembly!” If this scenario with the politicians in Sacramento had played out logically all those years ago and we would have saved for an “un-rainy day” then I wouldn’t be fielding angry calls from my favorite person wondering why the backyard can’t be landscaped due to the pending water cutbacks or worrying if I will be afforded the opportunity to make a living in my chosen profession as a farmer because the wells have ran dry. Common sense is nowhere to be found anywhere near a large concentration of politicians. Lawns are going to die whether you call Chico or San Diego home. Lakes will be empty from Oroville to Friant. Fresh water will still make its way to the San Francisco Bay. We all need the precious commodity that is water. If this isn’t a reality check for you when it comes to your representatives nothing ever will. Let’s start putting the burden on the ones who put us in position we are in today. Liberal politicians and environmentalists whose only agenda concerns what will benefit them. Call me selfish but I would rather have a clean and reliable water source at the expense of a butterfly or the possibility of a salmon losing his way. In the meantime I’m going to go freshen up my resume, I hear pool and lawn boys do very well…Wait..Damn…
PS. I hope you are having an amazing Thursday peeps. The tractors are continuing to move dirt in hopes we do get some water and remember…..Never underestimate the power of a good morning text, a sincere apology and letting her know she’s beautiful.   
#jerrybrown #California #drought #water #waterreduction #farms #lawns #empireliving  

Friday, March 27, 2015

Chico: City of trees, education, violent crimes and drugs...Wait, what???

Dear city of Chico,
Name the city where these current crimes have taken place:
March 7th 2015: A brawl breaks out at a residence in downtown. Owners report that unknown people tried to enter home to attend party. A fight ensues and a 22 year old male is fatally shot.
March 11th 2015: A girl walking home is assaulted by two adult males. Assailants hit the victim in the face causing her jaw to break in 2 places.
March 16th 2015: A women is found beaten to death on the front lawn of a home in a residential area. The trauma is so great to the facial area that it will take a few days for the swelling to subside to identify the victim.
March 26th 2015: Residents report gun shots being heard in the area. Shortly after male victim is reportedly shot in front of corner market. Was taken to emergency room. There is no information on his condition at this time.
This isn’t Detroit. It is not Chicago or New York. If you were thinking Los Angeles that’s a no also. Hell this isn’t even the police blotter from Salinas, California. Folks this is the current stat sheet of violent crimes for the quiet farm and college community of Chico, CA. Yes friends, that place that a lot of you spent the best 4 to 7 years of your life (We are all doctors when we leave here) and learned social and networking skills that are unrivaled in the business community through the numerous buck nights attended that dot the drinking establishments downtown has been transformed to a place where it’s not safe to walk at night whether you’re a man or a women. As the city council, the police chief and university president continue to blame the Greek System, binge drinking and the bar scene for the community’s issues, violent crimes and homicides are happening at a blistering pace. As you sit there in disgust and ask what has happened to the home of the Wildcats I would like to offer you some answers. Currently I hold no official titles as “mayor” (other than the bar scene), “Chief of Police” or “whatever Paul Zingg is referred to currently” but being an upstanding citizen and team player, I’m here to offer solutions to the problem.
  1. STOP BLAMING THE GREEK SYSTEM FOR ALL OF CHICO’S PROBLEMS. Fraternity members aren’t looking to commit an act of violence towards anything other than a burrito from Tacos De after a night of drinking. The bro tanks, skinny jeans and flat bill hats are a good indication of this. The last thing a sorority girl is thinking about after 6 Scooby Snack’s and a Blue Dolphin is who she can shank for stepping to her. There main concern is that the porches are free of peeps to judge as she makes her way home the next morning. This isn’t just a Greek thing, this includes most students who attend the university. They come to Chico and bring much needed dollars to businesses and along the way transform from young adults to future leaders. They are not the problem.
  2. ADDRESS THE REAL PROBLEM…DRUGS. As the police force continues to focus on shutting down drinking and weed use among students the real drug problem continues to spiral out of control. Oroville and the surrounding areas use to be the home of Walter White but Breaking Bad has decided to set up shop in Chico and call it home. Meth, heroin, crack, etc. has become the go to among Chico’s finest citizens. A college kid puffing on the hippie lettuce doesn’t savagely attack people, a spun-out vagrant looking for his next fix does. Instead of spending city dollars on painting the streets green so bicyclists know where they should ride, hire some extra officers and have them and the current force target a problem that has reached epidemic proportions for such a small, tight knit community.   
  3. CLEAN UP THE HOMELESS PROBLEM. If you need me to explain this issue then you have never walked downtown at any given time day or night or owned a business in the area. Drugs, assaults, pissing and shitting on sidewalks, etc. are reasons to eradicate our community of this problem. This isn’t me being heartless, this is me being real about the problem. You see how that works politicians? Honesty at its purest form.   
I am one of the lucky ones who was able to attend school here and was able to stay upon graduating. Chico has an allure to it that is magical. If you didn’t attend school here or have not been fortunate enough to call it home you are not going to understand what I’m talking about. For those of you who have, you are currently shaking your head in agreement with a smile on your face as you read these words. Leaders of Chico, let’s get this great city back on track. Focus resources on what is inherently wrong with this city and not what will get your name on the front page of the paper or face time as the lead story on the evening news. I along with many others call Chico home. We are homeowners and operate businesses. I would eventually like to raise a family here (I can hear your gasps). Do the right thing, before Chico becomes just another city. On second thought, I’ll accept that Mayor title…
PS. Happy Friday peeps on this gorgeous spring day. Treat yourself to an ice cold beverage at some point and remember….If you want to know what someone fears losing, watch what they photograph.
#Chico #Chicostate #wildcats #Paulzingg #Chicocitycouncil #chicopolice #empireliving

Friday, March 20, 2015

Patriotism in the classroom

Dear American education system and Patriotism,
When did it become admissible to ban the American Flag at college campuses? Who said it was alright to recite the Pledge of Allegiance in Arabic at a high school on the east coast? What has happened to the way our youth is shaped in this country? The more pertinent question to ask ourselves is when did it become OK to hate the United States in our schools? There are a lot of issues within the American education system. From lower than average test scores compared to other countries when it comes to public education at the elementary to high school level to the rising cost of tuition among our numerous universities and colleges. What has escaped through the crack in this discussion is the “love of country” which was instilled in most of us at the elementary level of our education. As the teaching profession has strayed away from the actual art of “teaching” and has become more of a bastion for educators to implant their own personal views into our youth the moral fiber of our country has continued to deteriorate. What’s wrong with our education system is we have got away from the things that make this country great. The Pledge of Allegiance being recited every morning before class started was as commonplace as bacon, eggs and a cup of coffee across the country not too long ago. Both your home state flag and Old Glory could be found in every classroom across the nation. These things gave us all pride in who we are and where we are from. I know what you liberal teachers are thinking….Who is this redneck??? Now I may love country, beautiful blonde women, guns, ice cold beer and a spring evening combining all those things at the ranch but I am far from what my friends from the South like to refer to as a “redneck”. The closet full of 7 jeans amongst the plaid pearl snap shirts can attest to this. What I am is a person who loves the United States of America and that should be celebrated and not shunned upon. As an American citizen the Constitution grants you rights that others are currently dying for in countries around the world trying to achieve that same sense of freedom. The thing that they all have in common is a love of their respective country and flag. I remember a group of men 239 years ago who shared in this same pride. It’s not a religious thing. It is not a political agenda. It’s not liberal or conservative. It is about pride in the nation you call home whether you were born here or have immigrated to the USA to find a better life for yourself and your family. That flag that should be saluted every morning in classrooms across the United States stands for all that is right and is the reason people risk their lives daily trying to come here to find a better life. You can hate your job and current employment situation. You can hate politicians and the government that they control. We can disagree on with each other’s political ideologies but what should all be agreed upon as a whole is that we love the United States and the red, white and blue which represents it. Here is a question that should be part of the common core curriculum. “When people are taught to respect the United States, its flag and the ones who died to give them the life they have what do you have?” It’s pretty simple…You have a greater country and a future with endless possibilities. You can slap a smiley face on that because it’s going on the fridge. Merica….
PS. Happy Friday peeps. May you find yourself with someone special and a drink in your hand later and remember….The two things that girls want are to lose weight and to eat. It’s your job to figure out at what point in the day those occur.  
#pledgeofallegiance #America #education #teachers #patriotism #empireliving

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Everyday is Ag Day

Dear National Ag Day,
As I walked to the local coffee shop this morning I passed numerous people on the sidewalk making their way to work on this Wednesday. I exchanged a smile and some pleasantries with a few but none of them thanked me. The coffee shop was bustling with business and as I made my way to the counter to put in my order I still received no thank you. The lady at the register took my order and asked how my day was so far but not a single thank you was received by myself in this conversation. This scenario played itself out through the morning as I made my way to the ranch. I had numerous interactions with people at businesses across town and not a single person took the time the thank me. You may be sitting there asking yourself why I am looking for a “thank you” from the general public. Well today is National Ag Day which is meant to celebrate all the hard working farmers and ranchers in this great country and the things they do to keep food on your plate every day. Although a “thank you” from time to time would be nice it is not needed by myself or any of the other over 21 million people who make a living directly related to agriculture. You see, farmers and ranchers don’t need you to tell them thank you every time you see them. They don’t expect anything in return when you sit down at the kitchen table and enjoy the fruits of their labor for dinner at night. Your full belly and the smile on your face is thanks enough. While having a national day dedicated to agriculture is an honor and brings awareness to the nation in which it feeds it is not needed. Wait….Did I just say that??? There shouldn’t be a set date to recognize what farmers and ranchers do to bring you the safest, cheapest and most readily available food system the world has ever seen. It is celebrated every time you put on a shirt in the morning made from the finest cotton to the bacon and eggs washed down by an ice cold glass of milk you enjoy before making your way to work. It’s observed throughout the day with each meal that is consumed no matter how big or small. It is commemorated as you pass the numerous fields, pastures and orchards along the road as you make your way back home in the evening. Agriculture happens every day and it is an honor that I can call myself a farmer. From large operations covering thousands of acres to the small guy carving out a living growing on an empty lot in the city we all contribute to the fabric that is this industry. Being able to do what we do on a daily basis is a blessing that not many get to experience and I am reminded of this every time I pick up a shovel or jump on a tractor or throw on my Muck boots and wade my way through a flooded rice field. The motto “hug a farmer” has been a favorite of mine since I was little so if you see a guy dressed in plaid, blue jeans , boots and sporting the latest in farm head gear today, first make sure he isn’t and hipster and then give him a hug. I guarantee it will put a smile on a farmers face and this is the only thanks we need. Merica…
PS. Happy hump day peeps and if you ate thank a farmer or rancher, it is much appreciated and remember…Real love is putting someone else before yourself. Try it and see the smile that resonates.
#Agday #nationalagday #farming #ranching #CaAg #agriculture #empireliving