Dear 2018 CMA Awards,
They say there is no better cure for sadness then laughter. For the past week, we who call Butte County home have experienced our fair share of the latter. With this in mind, myself and this bottle of wine sitting in front of me (thank you to the monks at New Clairvaux Winery for this years sponsorship), would like to present to you the 7th or 8th annual review of the CMA Awards.
- Luke Bryan opens the show talking about what “makes you country”. Apparently skinny jeans is still the ticket in Nashville.
- The big guy from Blues Traveler joins him on stage minus his harmonica.
- Lindsey Ell takes part in this ensemble. I take back everything I have said to this point.
- Carrie Underwood and my baby look amazing.
- Do you think Brad Paisley’s hat looks at other cowboy hats and sheds a tear?
- Note to kids…Drop out of school, find a Walmart and start yodeling. You will be far better off.
- Chris Stapleton takes the stage in fringe and a cowboy hat that would make Sam Elliot smile. My conscious is telling me to turn the TV off and go to bed, you have reached the pinnacle of the show.
- They have found a way to make a Jason Aldean performance tolerable. Include Miranda Lambert in it.
- Apparently the guy from Blues Traveler’s real name is Luke Combs. He just won new artist of the year. Can you please play Hook?
- Currently Rhett Akins has that, “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed” look on his face during his sons performance.
- Dan and Shay identify as country musicians.
- Chris Stapleton collects his second award of the night. Hopefully this is the start of a Joe DiMaggio like streak.
- The camera pans to Lionel Ritchie sitting in the audience. It is there way of reminding us that this is Country Music Awards show all night long. (see what I did there)
- Add Lauren Alaina to the list of women who can make Nashville great again.
- I feel like Old Dominion should be serving me lattes and pour overs not singing about hotel keys.
- Carrie, don’t worry, I have plenty of crackers on the night stand for you and the baby.
- Brett Young is currently singing “Mercy”. My current thoughts concerning this show.
- Did they really pull Ricky Skaggs out of the county fair and tribal casino lineup?
- Those outfits and that sound, Midland is what is right with country music. More of them and less of everything else is a good thing.
- Great to see Carrot Top is still shining as a blonde.
- Kacey Musgraves wins Album of the Year. The “me too” movement looks good on Nashville Country.
- I am glad to see Florida Georgia Line in all white. When I tell them there’s leather bracelets scattered across a busy freeway it will then not be considered a hate crime.
- Seven or eight years of doing this and Bon Jovi still hasn't sang Bad Medicine.
- Garth is the Sheriff Honea of country music. Legend.
- But I’m speaking for us all when I think it’s time for that Chris Gaines comeback tour.
- Luke Combs is the one who is stealing food off of Tim McGraw’s plate.
- Miranda is the Tapatio of country music. She makes everything better.
- Chris, Maren, Mavis, The Scarf and Mrs. Stapleton, just set down the mic and walk away. Simply amazing.
- Dierks, hell week isn't till the end of the semester. Take off that white t-shirt and those dirty jeans before we lose our chapter!
- Chris Stapleton: Male Vocalist of the Year. Maybe you are finally listening Nashville.
- Close your eyes and just listen to Kasey Musgraves. It will take you back to that twang that made Nashville great.
- Speaking of that, get Jon Pardi on that stage!
- Eric Church’s sound continues to drift towards that of Sturgill Simpson. This is a good thing.
- Carrie Underwood wins female vocalist of the year. Get that girl a drink. Wait…..
- “Kangaroos, wallabies, boomerang, ya ya ya, no no no, ya, Johnny worked on the docks, koala bears, damn yankees, veggie mite, beet on hamburgers, beers, mate this and mate that, suck it Tom Cruise, bad medicine is what I need, thank you.” Keith Urban’s acceptance speech for Entertainer of the Year.
Three hours and two bottle of wine lighter and that’s a wrap. The take home from the night is that more Chris Stapleton and artists like him and the numerous woman who continue to dominate the airwaves is what Nashville needs. Somewhere Reba is smiling really fancy….
Ps. Happy Pre-Friday on this smoked filled day in Northern California. We have been hit with a lot up here over the last week and with it have seen a community come together like never before. Thank you to all who have helped and those who continue too, you are what makes this nation great and remember….Sheriff Hoena is the reason you don't hear Chuck Norris jokes anymore. Butte County Strong….
#CMAawards #nashville #countrymusic #campfire #buttecountystrong #empireliving