Thursday, June 11, 2015

Main stream country music is no place for a cowboy hat

Dear CMT country music awards,

Hello peeps, it has been awhile since I have done a review on the current state of country music so I decided to open a bottle of good red wine and sit down last night to take in the awards show presented by thee country network itself, CMT. Please enjoy….

1.       Show starts with One Direction singing there new hit single. Wait…That was a country act that goes by the name “Lady Antebellum”? One minute in and the confusion starts.
2.       I’m making this exciting tonight. Currently have a bottle of Fireball sitting in front of me. Every time they show Cole Swindell in that ball cap I’m taking a shot. Once again, this is all for your enjoyment peeps.
3.       What could possibly make Carrie Underwood look better? Four words: Short. Tight. White. Dress.
4.       Next musical act is Hootie. Two performances into the show and both are of the pop genera. Best country awards show yet.
5.       Reba. For you keeping score at home we are currently at the 45 minute mark of the show and I am hearing real country music for the first time.
6.       Macklemore, don’t you know you’re not supposed to wear white after Labor Day? Huh???...That’s Sam Hunt?
7.       I think Ron White ages in dog years.
8.       One hour into the show and the first cowboy hat is spotted. Unfortunately the skinny jeans, chains, leather jewelry and earrings accompanying it cancels out all the good will this generated. Thanks a lot Jason Aldean.
9.       Bruce Willis’s daughter is the opposite of hot.
10.   Florida/Georgia Line makes there first appearance. You would think that with all the money they make they wouldn’t need to steal jeans out of Andy Stone’s closet.
11.   Chris Jansen will be a superstar. Write that down.
12.   If every country station played Eric Church on loop I wouldn’t get mad. Just saying.
13.   Remember when Brooks and Dunn was the top duet in country? Ya…I miss that.
14.   Luke Bryan upped his game this year. The addition of a red pleather shoulder holster to his “What isn’t country” ensemble is a game changer.
15.   Is the blonde dude in Little Big Town the last surviving member of ABBA?
16.   Carrie Underwood, I’m currently shifting my entire budget to crackers. You know where to find them.
17.   Someone just arrived on stage in an inflatable bed and boat shoes. It looks like a Britney Spears performance with the dancers and choreography but someone has just informed me it’s some guy named Jake Owens. George Strait currently has that “I’m not mad, I am disappointed” look on his face in the crowd.
18.   I really do like Kelsea Ballerini. It’s more for her being hot and blonde than her music but you get what I am saying.
19.   Currently at the 90 minute mark in the show. Starting on bottle number two. I gave the remote to the black dog and told him to put it in a safe place. We both really do like the new 60 inch TV.
20.   How come Billy Ray Cyrus hasn’t got the media attention that Bruce Jenner has for his sex change? He’s still a man…..Ooops.
21.     It upsets me that every time Jason Aldean accepts an award he fails to thank Benny Brown Ford for his success.
22.   JJ Watt. Best human being on the planet.
23.   I really love good red wine. I know this has nothing to do with this post’s topic but neither does this awards show and country music.
24.   I like Jon Bon Jovi’s new song. It’s catchy. Wait…That’s Keith Urban??? I fall for that one every time.
25.   Glad to see our former governor is doing well.
26.   Instead of putting Alan Jackson in a forgettable skit why not put a guitar in his hand and let him do what he does best?
27.   The Biebs? Really? Cosby is guarding the location of the remote closer than that Bush’s Baked Beans dog.
28.   Sam Hunt Was just introduced as the “newest sensation” in country music. His white onesie accompanied by tennis shoes backs up this statement.
29.   The Biebs is currently sitting as the 4th “most country” person associated with this awards show.
30.   Do you think Kenney Chesney gets more upset than Kris Teresi when he’s turned away from a ride on the Zipper at the carnival for his lack in elevation?
31.   I would wash my hand after Luke Bryan gave me a high five.
32.   Carrie Underwood takes the stage again as her big, hockey playing husband cheers her on. Currently debating if I should give her a box of crackers to take home to him for his hospitality.
33.   Show ends with Arnold Schwarzenegger on stage in what appears to be a cowboy hat. I think I have had too much to drink and need to go to bed.

The show had a lot of positives. First off my TV survived the night which is a rarity when it comes to my music reviews. Secondly and most importantly was that this was one of the best pop music awards show I’ve seen in a long time…..Wait….You’re telling me that was “Country”??? On second thought, Country music in Nashville is still dead. Merica…..

PS. Happy Thursday peeps on this scorcher in God’s Country. Stay cool and remember….Moderation is for cowards. 

#CMT #CMTawardsshow #countrymusic #nashville #empireliving 

Friday, June 5, 2015

My response to my detractors: A Bruce Jenner story

Dear tolerance according to the left,

One of the enjoyments that I get when I write is the responses received from the given subject covered. Recently, I broached the topic of Bruce Jenner and his decision to undergo the necessary hormone treatment and surgeries needed to become a woman. The comments started immediately concerning this media driven subject matter from people on both the right and left of the political paradigm. Now I usually don’t chose to participate, but rather let the audience dictate how the discussion goes. I jump in from time to time and remove comments and pictures that I deem offensive to friends and followers of my posts. If you can’t keep your thoughts clean, and eloquently state your words than you should step away from the computer and grab a crayon and scribble out those thoughts on that brown stationary with the big spacing that we all learned cursive on in grade school. As things started to unfold concerning the post on Wednesday, I felt that I had to reply to some of the hate that was being generated by a particular portion of the audience. Yes, I know you are all thinking that the “redneck, small town, Republican beer drinkers” who follow me were the culprits. While some that can be pigeon holed into that description posted a few pics that I removed from the piece the main offender was that of the liberal left. You know the ones I’m talking about, they stand up on their soapbox and talk down to all who don’t fall in line with their beliefs. They are imperialistic in nature and attack all who dare have another opinion on a given subject that doesn’t align with their own. For example, in a 365 word response to the Bruce Jenner piece, I and others were chastised for our political beliefs, where we get our news, locations in which we live and most importantly having an opinion on a subject. To up the hatred of elitism demonstrated by a good majority of Obama voters I was even attacked on my writing and overall literacy skills. Now I won’t drop names of the offenders because that makes myself and others with similar beliefs just like them, plus in a cowardly act, they chose to “un-friend” me once making these vague and hateful statements towards myself and some of the audience, a real courageous thing to do. Before I give this post and my rebuttal to the above mentioned response any more time, let me first start by saying that nowhere in my piece concerning the man formally known as Bruce Jenner did I say I was against or for what has done to his body or continues to do. With that out of the way I would like to address some to the “horrible” accusations hurled at me and others one at a time. (*Note: I have taking sentences out of these statements due to their length, but have not changed them in any other way.)

1.       “We all sound like conservative assholes in this thread.” Very thought provoking and mature with this opening statement, especially the use of an expletive so quickly in your response. Speaking only for myself, I do have conservative values when it comes to small government, the Constitution and fiscal policies. I am also for a woman and man’s right to choose, helping people who need help and not a handout and giving everyone the opportunity to make something of themselves. What I am trying to say is I am pro-America and don’t follow any established political path that is established because both systems and their thoughts are broken. This is why the United States is in the mess it is in. (Vote for Marcus Monroe!)
2.       “By providing facts, do you mean Fox and CNN which presumably are your viable source of news” First off as a card toting member of the liberal movement you should know that CNN is an extremely left leaning news source. Being that you don’t I’m going to assume your information on local and world affairs comes out of the pages of People, US Weekly and whatever else you scan while waiting in the checkout line at the grocery store. Being informed means not only following news source that lean in your political favor but watching, reading, etc. ones that don’t. Every source will put their version of a “spin” on a story and it takes the intellect of the individual following along to pull out the true facts and meaning of the account.
3.       “Maybe it’s because you all live in Chico and other farm towns where individuals just like yourself don’t get to see the effect that it has. (Referring to Jenner and the transsexual community. It is also stated that she “sees” this first hand living in San Francisco.) Ok, let me get this straight, because some of us live in small towns, we don’t see what others do who choose major cities as their home? The bigotry in this statement is outstanding and is a slap in the face to trans-genders and others who call rural America home. You also stated that you HAVE seen first-hand the impact that Bruce Jenner’s decision has had on the “trans community” of San Francisco. Being that when I wrote the piece that Bruce’s cover shot was less than 24 hours old I find it hard to believe that you were out on the streets in the Loin taking a straw poll on the subject. Good effort with the caps though, great way to get a point across.
4.       “Obviously you care enough to make a whole post about it that only God knows how long it took you to write.” If I were to write what you wrote verbatim, I would be pulling out the aforementioned crayons to do your piece justice. To tell you the truth it took me a little over 2 hours and a half of bottle of good red for the post. You see the thing about good journalism is that it doesn’t matter the amount of time you put into writing it. It’s the effort and quality of your work and how it stimulates conversation amongst an audience that makes it great.

We live in a country that gives us the opportunity to be who we are and say what we want whether your straight, gay, bi, tranny, white, black, brown, purple, male, female, etc. Liberals, your way of thinking and your treatment of others is old and tired. Championing your cause of elitism and trying to silence others isn’t democracy, it’s a dictatorship. Ask North Korea and Cuba how that is going for them. Liberals, I’ll leave some paper and Crayola’s for your response to that, thank you for your time and by the way did I mention my piece wasn’t against Bruce’s sex change….Merica.

PS. Happy Friday peeps, have an amazing weekend and remember….Hearts are wild creatures, that’s why our ribs are cages.

#brucejenner #caitlynjenner #liberals #elitism #liberalism #empireliving

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Does anyone remember Caitlyn Jenner on that Wheaties box???

Dear Caitlyn Jenner,

Remember world-class athlete Bruce Jenner who could run like the wind, jump higher than most humans and throw a javelin further than anybody? He was that guy who was on the Wheaties box after setting a world record in the decathlon at the 1976 Olympics Games. In his prime, women loved him and men wanted to be him. The man was a living legend during the late 70’s and early 80’s in the United States. That man is now gone. In his place is a “woman” who goes by Caitlyn. As the rest of the world continues to rain praise on the reality star formerly known as “Bruce” for his choice to commit too a whole new wardrobe, the question I ask is…..WHO CARES???? Words like courage, bravery and hero are being used to describe a person who spent the average yearly salary of a solider just so someone can open the car door for him and pull his chair out at the dinner table. The use of vocabulary of this nature should be reserved for those who defend our country, emergency responders, cancer survivors, etc., not someone who had a medical procedure that is performed over a thousand times a year in the United States and even more prevalently around the world. Having a sex change is a CHOICE. It takes a lot of money as previously mentioned along with the advent of modern science to make it happen. Bruce, if this was 1980 and you were at the peak of your athletic game and decided to let the world know that you wanted to switch teams then I’m all for it being front page news. Both for the fact that you were still relevant and procedures like these weren’t as commonplace in our society. A 65 year old Bruce in 2015 deciding he wants to sit down when using the toilet to pee doesn’t make you a role model for others, it makes you someone who wants a paycheck from yet another reality show that doesn’t feature Kim (Wait…I might be able to get behind that!). The latest slap in the face to come out of Bruce’s decision to be chronicled by the E Network is ESPN’s announcement that he will be receiving the Arthur Ashe Courage award presented by the network. Let’s see, the tennis great suffered through racism in a predominantly white sport in his prime and then contracted the HIV virus through a blood transfusion during a heart procedure to save his life. Yep…..Kris’s husband’s plight sounds pretty comparable to Mr. Ashe’s. I guess Lauren Hill fulfilling her lifelong dream of playing college basketball all while having a brain tumor which was terminal right up until her death or army veteran Noah Galloway competing in numerous cross-fit events and marathons after losing an arm and a leg to a roadside bomb in Iraq weren’t courageous enough to get them into the discussion. Hero’s are men and women who define a moment, save a life or change the world. Bruce Jenner was that when he stood on at the top of the podium in 1976 as our national anthem played and accepted the gold medal. Now he is just a middle-aged woman named Caitlyn with a boob job and a bad face-lift….

Ps. I know it’s been a long time but happy hump day peeps. Please enjoy and remember….Running may drop pounds, but beards drop panties.

#brucejenner #caitlynjenner #kardashian #arthurashe #empireliving