Dear 2020 CMA Awards,
Hey folks! Just popping out of the basement to stock up on toilet paper and check on the election results and realized that the most joyous time of year is upon us…Yes…You guessed it, I present to you the 9th or 10th Annual review of the CMA Awards:
- Show opens with a tribute to the legend that is Charlie Daniels. I’m intrigued.
- That soon fades as the next participant in the montage has a Baby Gap black card and isn't afraid to use it.
- Reno Rosser performs an amazing cover of The Devil Went Down to Georgia….Wait, that is NOT Jason Aldean!
- Hootie and Reba have replaced Carrie and the dude with hat issue as the hosts. I consider this a push.
- The COVID-15 has made the rounds through Nashville. Can someone please check on Vince Gill.
- I just love Bobby Bones.
- First award of the night goes to Maren Morris. You can hate her politics and like me, her choice in a husband but she is what is good in Nashville.
- Morgan Wallen looks like the guy from the Bay Area who always went out of his way to bump into you at the Crazy Horse.
- Gabby Barrett’s been shopping in Michael Jackson’s closet…HEEEE HEEE.
- Cowboy hats in the audience are currently as plentiful as attendees at a Joe Biden speech.
- I would let Reba take me home before 2am.
- Eric Church, don't ever change.
- With all due respect Hootie, I wish The Blowfish were the ones that decided to join the country genre.
- Ashley McBride is about to ask for the manager.
- Lauren Akin is so disappointed in her husband she took her father-in-law’s last name.
- If 2020 was a country performance, it would be Dan and Shay.
- One hour into the show and Justin Bieber is currently holding strong as the 2nd most country artist featured thus far.
- Apparently salads were not deemed essential to Luke Combs.
- Finally a stage full of cowboy hats and twang. Thank you Jon Pardi, now play the DUI song.
- Apparently Dirks and I currently share the same barber.
- Can we have a recount on who considers Dan and Shay country?
- Reba and Hootie are currently singing about the ghetto. Somewhere Too Short is crying.
- Do you think Miranda’s husband gets mad knowing that he goes home to a woman who is in love with another man?
- Charley Pride is on stage. Kiss an Angel Good Morning is flowing through the speakers. All that Nashville has done bad tonight is forgiven.
- Chis Stapleton’s sound could cure Covid.
- A bunch of baristas have apparently formed a band and called it “Old Dominion”.
- Luke Combs and his wife are the real life version of that meme of the ugly rich guy who owns the yacht with the hot girl.
- Glad to see Carrot Top has still found employment in these trying times.
- If one of the Osbourne brothers would have been adopted by another family, we wouldn't have to suffer through this performance.
- The barista’s play a mean version of Looking for Love.
- On a bright note, we are 2.5 hours in and not a sign of Luke Bryan.
- For another reference, there are more masks worn at a Trump rally then cowboy hats seen on stage tonight.
- I wish that stingray would have found Keith Urban and not Steve Irwin.
- Someone get Luke Combs a Peloton.
- Kelsey Ballerini is apparently auditioning for the ‘crackers in my bed” club.
- Eric Church Entertainer of the Year and states “Music will save us.” Someone get me and overpriced ice cold beer and a lawn seat somewhere!
After last year’s performance I truly believed Nashville was starting to find its way, only to fall in line with the rest of 2020 and revert back into it’s mix of bubble gum and pop garbage. Nashville is the mask of country music. No one wants to hear it, but we are all being made to on the radio. I’m headed back to the basement..God Bless!
Ps. Good to be with you peeps and I hope you are doing well in this world we currently live in. I can’t wait to belly up to a bar somewhere in the near future with y'all and remember…Grind now so later your dog has the backyard it deserves…
#CMAawards #CMAs #Nashville #countrymusic #awardsshow #ABC #review #americastrong
