Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Dating in your late 20's and into your 30's...According to this expert

Dear dating in your late 20’s and through your 30’s,

I get approached constantly on topics to write about or discuss. Lately the subject of dating has been broached by both male and female friends. Most have either been in a long term relationship or a marriage which has recently ended. Some have kids and some don’t. The question they all ask me is how and when do they get back into the dating “game” and how exactly does it work now?  Being that I’ve somehow managed to keep myself single all these years I qualify as a one of the foremost experts on the subject and am willing to share some sage advice at no cost to you….

My life guide to dating (late 20’s and through your 30’s):

1.       If you are jumping back into the dating game after a long period of time it can be scary. Change is hard for all of us, especially when it comes to intimately interacting with someone new. The best way to deal with this is to use the “Crawl, walk, run” method. It is exactly as it sounds. You have to crawl before you either walk or run in anything you do in life and we all have our own pace on getting to the next step. Always remember to do what feels best to you.
2.       I use to believe that there was a certain “time table” when it came to dating after being in a long relationship or marriage. I’m here to tell you there ISN’T. If you meet someone whether it’s been a few days, a week or months and it feels right, then it probably is. There is no calendar to this.
3.       Take a chance! If you are interested in someone they will never know unless you take that leap of faith and put yourself out there. That person at the coffee shop, gym, grocery store, bar, etc. may just be thinking the same thing about you.
4.       It used to be easy to know when you were in a relationship with someone but for some reason as we get older this changes. At a young age it was as simple as checking “yes” or “no” on a box or asking the girl or guy to be your significant other. The key as with everything is communication. Be upfront with each other on what you want now and as you move forward. It takes the guessing and uncertainty out of the equation.  
5.       TALK to each other. I’m not talking about a text or via Facebook, pick up the phone and call them. The emotion in the human voice in a one on one conversation can never be replaced.  
6.       LISTEN to each other. I don’t know how many times I have to reinforce that point.
7.       Be HONEST. Whether you are 21 or 31 this never goes out of style.
8.       Have FUN! This is what life is all about.
9.       If you don’t find someone right away that you click with don’t worry, it will eventually happen. Never settle for anything in life, especially if it’s someone that you want to share yours with.

The best advice I can give is if you are with someone currently or looking for that special person is to never “stop dating”. When we find ourselves in a relationship we tend to get into a comfort zone and forget the things we did to catch the eye of, or impress that special someone. Never use the excuse of work, a busy life or later children to get in the way of you and your significant other. Take each other to dinner, see a movie, hold hands when he or she least expects it, send her flowers, leave a little note on their windshield and let them know what they mean to you and most of all….tell her she’s beautiful. Trust me that never gets old….

PS. Happy Hump Day peeps as we move closer to harvest and remember….The one thing about the ground is it doesn't give much.

#dating #advice #marriage #drphil #empireliving

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