Dear dating in your late 20’s and through your 30’s,
I get approached constantly on topics to write about or
discuss. Lately the subject of dating has been broached by both male and female
friends. Most have either been in a long term relationship or a marriage which
has recently ended. Some have kids and some don’t. The question they all ask me
is how and when do they get back into the dating “game” and how exactly does it
work now? Being that I’ve somehow
managed to keep myself single all these years I qualify as a one of the
foremost experts on the subject and am willing to share some sage advice at no
cost to you….
My life guide to dating (late 20’s and through your 30’s):
1.
If you are jumping back into the dating game
after a long period of time it can be scary. Change is hard for all of us,
especially when it comes to intimately interacting with someone new. The best
way to deal with this is to use the “Crawl, walk, run” method. It is exactly as
it sounds. You have to crawl before you either walk or run in anything you do
in life and we all have our own pace on getting to the next step. Always
remember to do what feels best to you.
2.
I use to believe that there was a certain “time
table” when it came to dating after being in a long relationship or marriage.
I’m here to tell you there ISN’T. If you meet someone whether it’s been a few
days, a week or months and it feels right, then it probably is. There is no
calendar to this.
3.
Take a chance! If you are interested in someone
they will never know unless you take that leap of faith and put yourself out there.
That person at the coffee shop, gym, grocery store, bar, etc. may just be
thinking the same thing about you.
4.
It used to be easy to know when you were in a
relationship with someone but for some reason as we get older this changes. At
a young age it was as simple as checking “yes” or “no” on a box or asking the
girl or guy to be your significant other. The key as with everything is
communication. Be upfront with each other on what you want now and as you move
forward. It takes the guessing and uncertainty out of the equation.
5.
TALK to each other. I’m not talking about a text
or via Facebook, pick up the phone and call them. The emotion in the human
voice in a one on one conversation can never be replaced.
6.
LISTEN to each other. I don’t know how many
times I have to reinforce that point.
7.
Be HONEST. Whether you are 21 or 31 this never
goes out of style.
8.
Have FUN! This is what life is all about.
9.
If you don’t find someone right away that you
click with don’t worry, it will eventually happen. Never settle for anything in
life, especially if it’s someone that you want to share yours with.
The best advice I can give is if you are with someone
currently or looking for that special person is to never “stop dating”. When we
find ourselves in a relationship we tend to get into a comfort zone and forget
the things we did to catch the eye of, or impress that special someone. Never
use the excuse of work, a busy life or later children to get in the way of you
and your significant other. Take each other to dinner, see a movie, hold hands
when he or she least expects it, send her flowers, leave a little note on their
windshield and let them know what they mean to you and most of all….tell her
she’s beautiful. Trust me that never gets old….
PS. Happy Hump Day peeps as we move closer to harvest and
remember….The one thing about the ground is it doesn't give much.
#dating #advice #marriage #drphil #empireliving
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