Dear Halloween,
Driving through town yesterday I found myself staring at the
people who had begun to gather along the streets and sidewalks. There were
naughty nurses, catholic school girl vixens and beautiful women with feline
ears and tails that numbered in the hundreds as I made my way down the road. I
know you must be asking yourself; “When did Marcus move to Amsterdam and who
let him into the red light district and the overindulgence is offers?!” No
people as much as that is on my bucket list along with a morning run with the
bulls I still found myself in downtown Chico and this type of scenery can only mean
one thing…..It’s Halloween! Yes, I am talking about that time of year when a
girl can dress like she’s on her way to a job interview in the 909 at a place
where the word “missionary” on your resume doesn’t refer to your three years
building homes in Ghana and no one bats and eye or refers to her in garden tool
terms. It’s a glorious thing to the male gender and also the female (we don’t
discriminate on these pages) that get to witness all or should I say not so much
that the costumes have to offer. Halloween has many faces not only here in
Chico but across the country and we all can relate to them. We not only have the
sexy side of fun with the adult themed costumes we also have what the holiday
is meant for….The trick or treating that the children do in neighborhoods all
over town. Being that the black dog has done very well with his modeling endeavor
it has afforded us the opportunity to live in a nice neighborhood. Many less
fortunate people will bring their children to area such as ours on Halloween to
maximize their candy receiving potential. Now I have nothing wrong with this and am all
for increasing their dentist’s retirement account. The problem I do have is
that if you are over the age of 18 you are not a child you are a parent unless
of course you’re on MTV thus you do not need to be at my door asking for candy.
This also applies to the parents who dress up a 3 month old child and come to
your door. The infant has yet to grow its first tooth so why does it need
candy??? If you can’t afford candy to add to your current weight issues you
shouldn’t exploit your child in order to fill that void in your life. This year
I was going to be partaking in some libations away from the place I call home
(I’m not talking about Joe’s people, it lacks a bed) as a tax paying citizen of
Chico I shouldn’t resort to prison break style measures in order to leave my
home because of the zombie like presence that was for mentioned stocked my
neighborhood. Through it all the holiday of costume and candy continues to be a
favorite of mine so if you find yourself in the Hollywood Hills of Chico next
year either as a parent or dressed for a night in the grotto at Hef’s, stop by and
say hi….Just expect a Fireball and a beer if you drop those three childhood
words on me when I answer the door.
PS. Happy Friday peeps on this first day of November and remember
to set those clocks back between cocktails this weekend and remember……Vodka may
not solve your problems but it’s tastier than milk.
#Halloween #Chico
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