Dear concerned public,
Hello, I’m Cecil the lion and if you are reading this I am dead. Most of you had no idea who I was for the first 12.9 years of my life until about 48 hours ago so I felt it was necessary to take the time to let the public know my thoughts and feelings from the grave upon my recent demise. Now there are only a few ways this could have happened:
1. Natural causes.
3. I ate a little too much gazelle and wandered from the friendly confines of my reservation and was killed legally.
The first reason gets the best of all of us. I’ve lived a good life and had no regrets. I have seen parts of Africa that others can only dream of. I have feasted on zebra, water buffalo and an occasional villager who thought that it was a good idea to saunter away from his hut minus his trusty spear. If scenario two is the reason you are reading my last will and testament than I ask that whoever it was, whether it be a local who are the reason my kind are in the protected state we are in or it be a dentist from America I ask that you punish them to the full extent of the law. Poachers are the politicians of the hunting world. They don’t hunt, they kill and are the reason why hunters and hunting is frowned upon among the minority of the world. Unfortunately that minority are the people that control what you see in the media. What you don’t realize is that legal hunters are who pay for the sanctuaries that I and others like me call home. Without them, poachers would have hunted us to extinction years ago. Now if the 3rd and final choice is how I met my demise than I have no one to blame but myself. I should have been smarter than that, I mean I have spent the last 13 years of my life living the dream. Hwange National Park was my oyster, and I took advantage of all the pearls it had to offer. I had my own pride I ran, numerous lionesses at my fingertips and people who paid thousands of dollars just to take a picture of myself and others who call the park home. Now I don’t know where all that money goes but the Zimbabwe government has said that it stays in the park and helps us, the wildlife who call it home. Isn’t it funny that no matter what anyone really talks about be it life, death or anything in-between the conversation always comes back to government? Let me tell you something about my government. It is ran by Robert Mugabe. He is a dictator who has turned the vibrant, beautiful and rich country I call home into a place riddled with corruption, police and military brutality and fear. He has executed thousands of my fellow countryman along the way to ensure that no one will challenge his rule. Real standup guy. If by chance I am killed legally and he calls for whoever did it to be extradited back to Zimbabwe to face punishment please tell him to pound sand. Finally I wanted to reinforce to you that legal hunters are not bad people. For thousands of years humans have shared Earth with other animals and have hunted to survive just like myself and other predators. Today, they along with conservation efforts by others are the reason you can still see myself and others like me in something other than a book. They are good people who don’t kill just to kill. Friends, don’t use my death to chastise the few, use it as a rallying call to end poaching in my country and around the world and most importantly let this shed some light on Zimbabwe and its leadership. I am just one lion, amongst a country of many good humans, focus on the atrocities that happen here daily before my 15 minutes of fame fade and the liberal media moves on to the next cause. One last thing….RWAR!!!!! Scared you didn’t I??? Meow.
PS. Happy Friday peeps and remember….All the girls get prettier at closing time or after 10 shots of Fireball, really there is no difference.
#Cecilthelion #Cecil #zimbabwe #hunters #poachers #hollywood #empireliving